Red: Hold it, you two. Now, before we hit the road, we need to have a talk about that horrible thing that's taken over your mother.
Eric: You mean, her "change of life"?
Hyde: Thought we were calling it "the lady-parts problem."
Red: It goes by many names. Now, we're dealing with a tricky enemy here. I haven't been this frosty since Korea. And just like a commie, it can jump out and attack you at any moment.
Kitty: [o.s.] Red, honey.
Hyde: Incoming!
Eric: Retreat!

Red: What do you want?
Kelso: Once again, the explanation is pinned to my lapel. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Forman, please give Michael $30 for the game you threw out the window and broke. Signed, my parents."
Kitty: [laughs]
Red: Well, you made her laugh. That's worth 30 bucks.

Kelso: Hey. Wait up.
Red: What do you want?
Kelso: The explanation's pinned to my lapel.
Red: "Dear Red. Mr. Kelso and I are unable to take Michael to U.W. Here's $30 so he can go with you." Where's the 30 bucks?
Kelso: Oh, I bought this "electronical" football game.
Red: I swear to God, Kelso! You make Eric look like Einstein.
Eric: Thank you, Daddy.
Kelso: "Thank you"? Einstein was ugly.