Nina: According to your application, your last job was as Dancer Number Three in the school production of My Fair Lady.
Fez: Yes. It was magical. I could have danced all night.
Nina: Uh-huh. I'm afraid your theater experience doesn't really apply to working here at the D.M.V.
Fez: But, Nina, what is the D.M.V. really, if not one big stage?
Nina: The D.M.V. is the Department of Motor Vehicles. It is not a stage.
Fez: Ah, but in a way, they're very similar.
Nina: No, they're not.
Fez: Oh, but really, they are.
Nina: No, they're not.
Fez: Okay. They are.
Nina: No, they're not! I'm just gonna put down no prior experience.
Fez: Okay. Ah, but you haven't asked me about my special skills yet.
Nina: Well, I really don't see how a fondness for pie is relevant.
Fez: But, Nina, what is the D.M.V. really, if not one big pie shop?

Kitty: Great. Clicker's on the fritz. All I want to do is see the end of Guiding Light, and it won't click. Click, damn it! Click!
Red: Kitty? I think your lady problem is acting up again.
Kitty: It jus- It just won't click, that's all. It's supposed to click, Red. It's a clicker. That's what it does.
Red: Okay. Let's get you to bed.
Eric: [enters] Okay, you guys? Uh, very important. Donna's coming over, and I lost the ring she gave me. I thought I had it in the basement.
Red: Eric, please! Your mother is having a breakdown.
Kitty: No. The only thing having a breakdown around here is the clicker! Why won't it click, Red? Nothing loves me!

Red: I need cold compresses and a Bloody Mary. Quick! Your mother is talking about adopting a communist orphan. Now move. I need help, damn it!