Mr. Wilkinson: I'm moving you to the back row so that no one can hear that squawk box that you call a voice.
Fez: The back row? But the back row is for the untalented and the ugly. Ay, you are no fun.
Mr. Wilkinson: Music is not about fun. It's about passion and commitment. Have you ever been moved to tears by the warbling timbre of your own voice?
Fez: No, because I am a man. [Mr. Wilkinson sighs and walks off]
Kitty: Well, he just, um- He doesn't seem to like you at all.
Fez: The British have always hated my people. We won the war, buddy. Get over it! [chuckles] Oh, good one, Fez.

Hyde: And we got you an opening-night present. Congratulations, buddy! [Fez laughs]
Mr. Wilkinson: Bloody hell, is that my mailbox?
Fez: [imitating Wilkinson] Bloody 'ell, is that me mailbox? [laughs]
Kelso: That's dead on.
Mr. Wilkinson: Yes, I'm sure you'll all remember this fondly as you rot in your Barcaloungers cheeseburgers clenched in your fat American fists.
Fez: You got that right, buddy.

Bob: Hey, everybody.
Fez: Bob. Hey, I saved seats for you and the gang.
Bob: Oh, I don't think they're coming.
Fez: Of course they are.
Bob: Well, you know, I asked if they needed a ride, but they said, "No." When I left, they were just sittin' in the basement, laughing.
Fez: But the show's about to start.
Bob: Ooh! Then I better get to the refreshment table. Did you know that all that stuff was free? It says donations accepted, but you don't gotta put nothing in.