Bob Quote #85
Quote from Bob in Donna Dates a Kelso
Bob: Hey, Red, get this. A while back, I'm in my car crying 'cause Midgie was gone, and I kept having to reach into the glove box for tissues.
Kitty: Oh, that's dangerous. One time I had to blow my nose. Nearly hit that cockeyed girl down the street. I could've sworn she was lookin' right at me.
Bob: So I attached a box of tissues to the sun visor, sold the idea for a bundle, and voila. The Weeper Keeper was born.
Red: Oh, God. Are you rich again?
Bob: Yep. [chuckles] I'm back to my I-can-buy-anything-I-want former self. Just picked up two sombreros and a case of Lik-M-Aid.
Kitty: Where are you gonna wear a sombrero, Bob?
Bob: Where won't I wear it?
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Donna Dates a Kelso’ Quotes
Quote from Fez
Kitty: Fez, honey, what are you- Did you come for cake?
Fez: No, I... Do you have cake? No, no, no. I came- I came here because I have this... friend.
Kitty: Oh, really? What's his name?
Fez: Name? Uh... Johnny... [looks at table] Table.
Kitty: And what's Johnny Table's problem?
Fez: Well, he and his girlfriend are about to do something very special for the first time.
Kitty: You mean, they're going to engage in...
Fez: Putt-putt. They are going... They're going to putt-putt. And- And- And she has putted around quite a bit. But- But he is a virgin, uh, putter. A- a virgin putter. He has never putted.
Kitty: I see.
Fez: And my friend, uh... Ay.
Kitty: Johnny Table?
Fez: Yes. Um, he cannot talk to Eric or Kelso or Hyde because they make fun of me... him... Johnny... [Kitty points to table] Table. So he's coming to you.
Kitty: Well, honey, you tell Johnny Table to be respectful and wear a condom.
Fez: Thank you, Mrs. Forman. That's good advice. So, um, may I have my piece of cake now? And one for Johnny Table.
Quote from Leo
Eric: What about her?
Leo: Hey, I know her, man. She's not all there, if you know what I mean.
Hyde: She's a space case, huh?
Leo: No, she's missing a toe.
Quote from Eric
Eric: No. Guess who was voted Point Place High's Most Eligible Viking?
Fez: Tommy Larkin? Well, he is dreamy.
Eric: No. Me, thank you very much.
Kelso: Congratulations, Eric. I guess this opens up a whole new world for you. One where you can actually date chicks.
Eric: And don't think I haven't already thought of that, my friend.
[fantasy:]
[title: "Pick a Chick"]
Eric: Bachelorina #1, I've been diagnosed with a disease that makes me irresistible to women. If you were my doctor, what would you do to treat me?
Bachelorina #1: I'd order you to stay in bed for three weeks. With me. [applause]
Eric: Uh-oh. I 'm feeling better already. Bachelorina #2
Bachelorina #2: Well, I'd have you strip down for a complete physical. [applause]
Eric: Well, then I guess we know what's up, Doc. [laughs] Number 3?
Bachelorina #3: I'd write you a prescription for love and tell you to take me three times a day.
Eric: Careful, I might O.D.
Hyde: Well, Eric it's time to choose. Which one of these luscious, fawning chicks will it be?
Eric: [sighs] Gosh, they all sound so great. I can't decide.
Hyde: Well, that's okay. You're Point Place High's Most Eligible Viking. You can have them all!
Eric: How tremendously fair!
Hyde: Kelso, tell Eric what he gets.
Kelso: Bachelorina Number #1 is a hot cheerleader. Bachelorina Number #2 is a hot cheerleader. Bachelorina Number #3 is a hot gymnast who used to be a hot cheerleader.
Hyde: Well, until next time this is Eric's jealous friend Hyde saying, "I wish I was Eric Forman."' So long!
[reality:]
Hyde: Forman, don't put me in your fantasies. I don't even like being in your real life.
Fez: You can put me in your fantasies. I don't mind. I don't have a lot going on.