Red Quote #372
Quote from Red in Jackie Says Cheese
Kitty: Okay, okay. We are just gonna clear the air. Right now. Now, Eric, the other night your father and I were getting intimate... [Red and Eric groan] And we realized we didn't have any protection.
Red: For hugging. We just... We hug.
Kitty: So your dad went to your room looking for one of those condoms I gave you and you caught him, and he has just been so embarrassed ever since.
Eric: Condoms? Oh! Condoms.
Red: Yeah, condoms. What did you think it was?
Eric: ... What did you think it was?
Red & Kitty: What did you do?
Eric: What did you do? I-I didn't do anything. Okay? You stole condoms! Get him, Mom.
Red: You're grounded.
Kitty: For a week.
Red: Hyde too. Whatever was in that drawer that you didn't want me to see, I'm sure it was his.
Eric: Fine. No complaints here. Thank you. [exits]
Kitty: You suppose there was actually something in that drawer he didn't want us to see?
Red: Who cares?
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Jackie Says Cheese’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Eric: This is freaky, man. Red hasn't said anything about the stash, which can only mean he's gone to the much-feared stage: beyond yelling. He's gone Darth Vader, man.
Kelso: Or instead of Red snagging you, maybe you snagged Red dipping into Hyde's stash. I'm just sayin', everyone's tryin' it.
[fantasy: circle:]
Hyde: I guess Kelso's right. Everyone is trying it.
Red: I'm telling you, this stuff isn't just for cakes. It's great all by itself. [squirts cream into mouth] Mmm! Wait, wait. Watch this. [squirts cream onto head] Look at me. I'm Whipped-cream Head! Fear me! All fear Whipped-cream Head! [sinister laugh] Mmm!
[reality:]
Eric: Kelso, that was delightful. But the only part you left out is where Red kills me!
Quote from Fez
Thomas: Oh, the football team loves me. I'm their new placekicker.
Fez: What? Oh, the room is spinning! How did you do all this?
Thomas: I have delightful accent.
Fez: So do I.
Thomas: Yes, but a nerd with an accent is still a nerd. Now, good day, sir.
Fez: [scoffs] I say "good day." Now, good day.
Thomas: Good day.
Fez: Good day.
Both: I said good day! [Thomas walks away]
Fez: He stole that from me.
Eric: But, Fez-
Fez: I said from me!
Quote from Red
[As they eat breakfast at the kitchen table, Eric and Red both stick their fork in the last waffle]
Eric: Hey. L'Eggo my Eggo.
Red: Hey. L'Eggo my foot in your ass.