Red Quote #333
Quote from Red in Hyde Gets the Girl
Fez: I know I just met her, Mr. Red but I love her. She is sturdy. I want to climb her.
Red: You're just desperate to give it away, aren't you, son?
Fez: ... Yes. Yes, I am.
Red: Look. [clears throat] There are two things that you need to learn about women.
Fez: Oh, finally, the sex talk! [chuckles]
Red: First, if a woman outweighs you by 30 pounds you're in for trouble.
Fez: But I'll put on weight. I'll bridge the gap.
Red: Which brings me to my second point. When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. [chuckles] But if you mix 'em, they can turn you into a dumbass.
Features in the collection: Red Forman: Dumbass Quotes.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Red Forman: Dumbass Quotes’
Quote from Red in The Battle of Evermore
Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.
Quote from Red in Sally Simpson
Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.
‘Hyde Gets the Girl’ Quotes
Quote from Fez
Fez: A toast to all my good friends. I will miss you when I blow out of this burg with the beautiful Big Rhonda. [scattered applause] Now it's off to "Missis-syphilis".
Quote from Kelso
Jackie: Michael.
Kelso: Jackie. I thought you were at the party.
Jackie: No, no, no. It was awful. Do you know what it's like to be the prettiest girl at a party and not have anyone acknowledge it?
Kelso: Yes, I do.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Rhonda, I cannot go to Mississippi.
Rhonda: So, you're not coming?
Fez: I'm sorry. But maybe we can go to the movies sometime.
Rhonda: And make out in the theater? Yeah! Call me. [kisses Fez and leaves]
Donna: Good God. Sober up, man.
Fez: Oh, screw it, Donna. Fez likes them big. Fez likes them small. Fez likes them all.