Fez Quote #258
Quote from Fez in Canadian Road Trip
Fez: Oh, no. I think I lost my green card.
Eric: Damn, Fez. Where's the last place you had it?
Fez: If I knew that, I would have it now, you son of a bitch.
Kelso: All right, Fez. Take it easy.
Fez: No. You take it easy. They're gonna throw me in Canadian jail. Have you seen Midnight Express? Well, it's like that, but with hockey sticks.
Features in the collection: Fez: You Son of a Bitch.
More That '70s Show Quotes
‘Fez: You Son of a Bitch’
Fez: So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and say, "Trick or treat," they'll give me a free piece of candy?
Fez: Oh, I don't believe you.
Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy, you son of a bitch?
Quote from Fez in Dine and Dash
Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.
‘Canadian Road Trip’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Eric: Kelso, you're not going.
Kelso: What? Why not?
Hyde: Because this is a risky mission. You tend to screw these things up.
Kelso: Yo, that is a damnable lie!
Eric: Okay. Kelso, remember that time we were gonna put a flaming bag of dog poop in front of Principal Pridwell's door and you lit it in the car on the way over?
Kelso: Yeah. I wanted to see it all flame-y.
Eric: And then you panicked and stepped on it.
Kelso: Eric, it was on fire!
Quote from Leo
Leo: Hey, dudes.
Hyde: Leo, man, what are you doin' here?
Leo: Sitting. What are you doin' here?
Hyde: We're goin' to Canada to buy beer.
Leo: Canada? Cool. I spent some time up there during 'Nam.
Eric: Oh, conscientious objector, huh?
Leo: No. I didn't mind. Hey, a road trip sounds good, man. But I don't want nothing to do with that beer. That stuff will mess with your mind, man.
Quote from Going Mobile
Hyde: So, let's just do rock, paper, scissors, see who the best man is, all right?
Fez: No, no, no, no. I hate that game. I always lose.
Hyde: 'Cause you always pick rock.
Fez: That's because nothing beats rock.
Hyde: Paper beats rock. Those are the rules.
Fez: Eh, not buying it.
Hyde: Fine. We'll play a new game. How about cockroach, foot, nuclear bomb? Foot squashes cockroach. Nuclear bomb... Pow! ...blows up foot. And cockroach survives nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, that's great. I'll be nuclear bomb. Nothing beats nuclear bomb.
Hyde: I just told you, cockroach beats nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, we'll see about that.
Quote from A Legal Matter
Red: Okay, I think that we've been reviewing long enough. Let's see what you've learnt. I'll start you off with an easy one. Where do you live?
Red: It's pronounced America.
Fez: That's what I said, Amedica.