Fez Quote #258
Quote from Fez in Canadian Road Trip
Fez: Oh, no. I think I lost my green card.
Eric: Damn, Fez. Where's the last place you had it?
Fez: If I knew that, I would have it now, you son of a bitch.
Kelso: All right, Fez. Take it easy.
Fez: No. You take it easy. They're gonna throw me in Canadian jail. Have you seen Midnight Express? Well, it's like that, but with hockey sticks.
Features in the collection: Fez: You Son of a Bitch.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Fez: You Son of a Bitch’
Fez: So you're telling me that if I showed up at someone's house and say, "Trick or treat," they'll give me a free piece of candy?
All: Yes!
Fez: Oh, I don't believe you.
[cut to:]
Fez: Trick or treat. An apple? Where's my candy, you son of a bitch?
Quote from Fez in Dine and Dash
Fez: Uh, yes, excuse me. Um, would you please send your finest imported beer to Caroline and tell her that when I said "Hi" what I meant was, "I'll take you like a stallion." You got that? Like a stallion?
Jackie: Fez, stop ordering stuff.
Fez: Okay, you need to chill out, little girl. Didn't you hear Kelso? The Vineyard is having a dine-and-dash promotion. Everything is free.
Jackie: It's not free, Fez. "Dine and dash" is when you run out without paying.
Fez: So it's stealing? This isn't going to help me with Caroline, is it? Excuse me.
[After Fez whispers to Donna, she whispers to Eric, who gives Kelso a "wet willy"]
Kelso: Hey!
Fez: That's from me, you son of a bitch.
‘Canadian Road Trip’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
Eric: Kelso, you're not going.
Kelso: What? Why not?
Hyde: Because this is a risky mission. You tend to screw these things up.
Kelso: Yo, that is a damnable lie!
Eric: Okay. Kelso, remember that time we were gonna put a flaming bag of dog poop in front of Principal Pridwell's door and you lit it in the car on the way over?
Kelso: Yeah. I wanted to see it all flame-y.
Eric: And then you panicked and stepped on it.
Kelso: Eric, it was on fire!
Quote from Leo
Leo: Hey, dudes.
Hyde: Leo, man, what are you doin' here?
Leo: Sitting. What are you doin' here?
Hyde: We're goin' to Canada to buy beer.
Leo: Canada? Cool. I spent some time up there during 'Nam.
Eric: Oh, conscientious objector, huh?
Leo: No. I didn't mind. Hey, a road trip sounds good, man. But I don't want nothing to do with that beer. That stuff will mess with your mind, man.
Quote from Red
Kitty: Oh. "A videocassette recorder." What's videocassette, and why do we need to record it?
Red: It records TV. You know how we don't get to see Johnny Carson?
Kitty: Well, he's on so gosh-darn late. Who can stay up past 10:30?
Red: No one, but now we can record Johnny while we sleep and then watch it the next day.
Kitty: Oh.
Red: And you know how you wanted to watch the rerun of Roots?
Kitty: Mm-hmm.
Red: Well, we can tape it, and then you can watch it over and over.
Kitty: Well, I think just watching it tonight should do the trick.
Red: Well, we will watch it tonight, after we tape it.
Kitty: But we don't stay up to watch Carson. Why would we stay up to watch this?
Red: Because it's conven- Oh, you just don't understand technology. [storms out]
Kitty: No. But I sure know how to tell time.