Fez: Oh, no. I think I lost my green card.
Eric: Damn, Fez. Where's the last place you had it?
Fez: If I knew that, I would have it now, you son of a bitch.
Kelso: All right, Fez. Take it easy.
Fez: No. You take it easy. They're gonna throw me in Canadian jail. Have you seen Midnight Express? Well, it's like that, but with hockey sticks.

Leo: Hey, dudes.
Hyde: Leo, man, what are you doin' here?
Leo: Sitting. What are you doin' here?
Hyde: We're goin' to Canada to buy beer.
Leo: Canada? Cool. I spent some time up there during 'Nam.
Eric: Oh, conscientious objector, huh?
Leo: No. I didn't mind. Hey, a road trip sounds good, man. But I don't want nothing to do with that beer. That stuff will mess with your mind, man.

Kitty: Oh. "A videocassette recorder." What's videocassette, and why do we need to record it?
Red: It records TV. You know how we don't get to see Johnny Carson?
Kitty: Well, he's on so gosh-darn late. Who can stay up past 10:30?
Red: No one, but now we can record Johnny while we sleep and then watch it the next day.
Kitty: Oh.
Red: And you know how you wanted to watch the rerun of Roots?
Kitty: Mm-hmm.
Red: Well, we can tape it, and then you can watch it over and over.
Kitty: Well, I think just watching it tonight should do the trick.
Red: Well, we will watch it tonight, after we tape it.
Kitty: But we don't stay up to watch Carson. Why would we stay up to watch this?
Red: Because it's conven- Oh, you just don't understand technology. [storms out]
Kitty: No. But I sure know how to tell time.