Fez: No, I cannot be in the same room with him. You and I are through. Now good day.
Kelso: But, Fez... [Fez is silent]
Jackie: Fez? He said, "But, Fez."
Fez: Oh, I heard him.
Donna: Well, now you're supposed to say... "I said good day."
Kelso: Yeah, and then we all know that you're really mad, but eventually, you'll get over it.
Fez: Oh, you'd like that. "Dance, monkey, dance." Well, Kelso, this monkey don't dance no more.
Donna: But, Fez...
Fez: I said good day! [groans]

Fez: [shouts] Hello, ladies!
Hyde: No, man, that's not how you do it. You gotta be aloof.
Fez: Did you just call me a "loof"? Because if so, I'll have to kick you in your 'nads.
Hyde: No, man. Aloof. Distant. Zen.
Fez: Well, that's not what loof means in my language.
Hyde: Look, I don't care what you think it means, that's what it means here.
Fez: You're the loof.
Hyde: Fez, it's not-
Fez: I said loof!

Red: Need something, Bob?
Bob: Well, it's a funny thing. The wife and I, we're taking out a second mortgage on the house. Well, that's not the funny part 'cause we're pretty much destitute.
Red: It's a little bit funny, Bob.
Bob: Anyways, I'm looking at the deed to the property and the map shows that I own a couple feet of your driveway and a little bit of your garage.
Red: How'd you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?
Bob: I wouldn't, to be quite honest.
Red: It's free.

Fez: [slurping] [sighs] That is the saddest sound in the world. [loud slurp] [sighs] No more soda for Fez. And no more money for-
Eric: Fez, do you need me to buy you another soda?
Fez: Oh, Eric, you do not buy soda. You only rent it. You know what I mean. I mean, you pee it out.
Eric: Yeah, I got it. Go.

Fez: Eric, I cannot thank you enough for lending me your girlfriend. It feels so good to be in a normal, healthy relationship.
Eric: Fez, it's a fake, pretend relationship.
Fez: You say tomato, I say tomato.
Eric: Fez, "to-mah-to."
Fez: What?
Eric: You say "to-mah-to."
Fez: Why would I say "to-mah-to"? That's not even a word, dummy.
Eric: Yeah. I'm sorry.
Fez: It's okay, Eric. Different strokes for different strokes.
Eric: Right.