Fez: Oh, my first X-rated movie. I don't know what's going on, but that is the luckiest pizza boy ever.
Hyde: Yeah, I'll say. There's at least nine boobs in this shot alone.
Kelso: Guys, I feel bad. I mean, Jackie finally takes me back and I reward her by sneaking off to see some trashy porno babes. Oh, wow! That seems like it would tickle.
Fez: Oh, nothing's going to happen in this scene. It's just two ladies. Oh, bravo, nice plot twist.
Kelso: All right, guys, I gotta go. I don't think Jackie would like me being here.
Fez: And you should pick up your dress on the way out.
Eric: Oh, wow! Does everyone do that? Because I don't do that. I just stick to two or three key moves and... God, they don't even come close to that.
Fez: Oh, Eric, I have not done anything but even I, had I done anything, would have already done that.

Kelso: Okay, Jackie. There are some things I haven't been honest about that I feel like you should know.
Jackie: Okay. Why are they here?
Kelso: Well, Hyde helpfully pointed out that it's not really honesty unless your friends are allowed to watch. So, anyway, I made a list.
Hyde: The list was my idea.
Kelso: Thank you for that, Hyde. Okay, so let's just get started. Um, that picture you saw of me in kindergarten? Those weren't puffy pants. It was a big boy diaper. [time lapse] And that time you came out of the shower, and you thought you saw a flash? I did take your picture. ... This one time you asked me if you had anything in your teeth? And you did, but I said no, 'cause it's funnier that way. ... When we were about to fool around, and I said that I washed my hands? But really I just got done playing with like six dogs. But that's not as bad-
Jackie: All right, Michael, stop! Okay, Michael, I think we need to work on selective honesty.
Fez: Yes, that and basic hygiene. Seriously, good God, man.
Jackie: Okay, Michael unless one of your secrets involves kissing a girl, I don't need to know about it.
Kelso: Okay. All right. Oh, science fact. Dogs are cleaner than humans.

Donna: [whispers in Jackie's ear]
Jackie: He did?! What the heck for?
Donna: I don't know. In like what universe is that sexy?
Jackie: Only one: the skinny, pervert universe.
Donna: It was just so strange. I mean, usually he just sticks to, like, two or three key moves.
Jackie: You know, I bet it's because of that nudie flick they saw yesterday.
Donna: They went to an X-rated movie?
Jackie: Didn't Eric tell you?
Donna: No. [Jackie nods] God, why would Eric go see something like that? I mean, is our sex life so boring that he has to sneak around and watch other people do it?
Jackie: Donna, of course it is.