Red: You know, Son, there's a time and a place to pull down a lady's pants. And a pickup game in our driveway is not one of'em.
Eric: Look, Dad, I know it was dumb but Donna said it was fine, and... apparently it wasn't fine.
Red: Sit down. Eric, there's a pair of shoes up in your mom's closet. And one day, I accidently stepped on one of them and scuffed it. "Don't worry," your mom said. "Everything's fine." But every now and then, she takes them out of the closet and she puts them on, and she does this. [mournfully] "Oh." Then she takes them off and puts them back in her closet. Eric, this has been going on for 14 years.
Eric: So why doesn't she just get new shoes?
Red: [laughs] Oh, Eric you are so young. You see, women are... What's the word I'm looking for here? Crazy.
Eric: Oh. So, overall, you and Mom are okay. So Donna and me, we'll be okay, right?
Red: No. I scuffed your mom's shoe. I didn't pull her pants down in front of God and the foreign kid.
Eric: So, what are you saying? I'm screwed with Donna?
Red: Hey, if it makes you feel any better... I'm surprised you lasted this long.