Red Quote #258

Quote from Red in Hyde's Christmas Rager

Red: Now, about last night...
Eric: You know what, Dad? Uh, before you get started, I know what you're gonna say.
Red: Oh, really? What do you know?
Eric: Um, that I was irresponsible and stupid. And I have it on good authority that I may have called you something.
Red: Like, um, "big, bald party pooper?"
Eric: For instance. But the point is, Dad, I'm really ashamed and sorry and afraid.
Red: Hmm. Okay. Well, that covers it. Okay. Good talk.
Eric: That's it? I get off scot-free? I mean, I learned a valuable lesson?
Red: Look, son, you're grown up now. You know what you did wrong. And I am too tired to keep thinking up new and exciting ways to punish you. So... Merry Christmas.
Eric: Are you kidding me? I don't get in trouble, and you're giving me a Christmas present? Oh, boy, this is the best Christmas ever! [sniffs] Actually, you know, this really smells.
Red: Yeah, those are my shoes from last night. Clean 'em, buff'em and shine 'em. Ho, ho, ho. Dumbass!

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Features in the collection: Red Forman: Dumbass Quotes.

‘Red Forman: Dumbass Quotes’

Quote from Red in The Battle of Evermore

Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Quote from Red in Sally Simpson

Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.

 ‘Hyde's Christmas Rager’ Quotes

Quote from Red

Eric: My head hurts.
Red: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Donna, be nice to me. I'm lonely. I mean, okay, if there were mistletoe over me right now who would kiss me? No one. That's who.
Donna: Being alone isn't that bad. It's a great opportunity to get to know yourself and be comfortable with who you are.
Jackie: Donna, I already love myself. I just wanna French someone.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: Ooh. Listen to this. "Corner Him Under the Mistletoe: Eight Ways to Trick a Guy Into a Relationship." [squeals] I love the holidays.
Donna: Yeah, hanging your stocking, putting cookies out for Santa, setting a man trap. Mmm, Christmas.
Jackie: You know, this'll be the first year I celebrate Christmas without a boyfriend.
Donna: And Jesus wept.
Jackie: So here's my new plan for the year: Buy some really cute tops, fly to Hollywood and marry Lee Majors. Make fun of that. I dare you.