Fez: Jackie, what is it about me that makes every woman leave? I'm going to die alone with nothing but a room full of candy and pornography to keep me company. Although, as I say that, it sounds okay.

Hyde: Oh, hey, Red. I'm glad you're here, man. Things are just falling apart down here. It's freezing in my room and the TV is broken and this thing just popped right out of the washing machine.
Red: Jeez, I'm gone for one day and the whole house goes to hell.
Hyde: Yeah. It's a good thing you're here, though, so you can fix everything.
Red: You know what? I'll get to this stuff later.
Hyde: Later?
Red: Yeah, I was thinking about what you said this afternoon at the record store. You're right. I do deserve to slow down and enjoy my retirement. So, right now, I'm going fishing.
Hyde: Yeah, but it's, like, 10 degrees in my room! Can I at least call a repairman?
Red: Sure. But you're paying for it. I'm on a fixed income. I'm retired.

Red: Good morning.
Kitty: Hi, Red. You're up early. You're retired. You should be sleeping in.
Red: Yeah, well, I was awoken by the pleasant sound of birds chirping outside my window. And now that I don't have to work, I finally have time to poison them.
Kitty: I feed those birds bread every day.
Red: Good. That'll make it easier.
Hyde: Red, I don't think you have embraced retirement yet. What you need to do is get yourself a robe, go sit out on the porch, then shake your fists and yell stuff like, "Dagnabit! Why I ought to..."
Red: I have to say, I looked forward to retirement as much as I looked forward to playing catch with my son. And both of them have left me bitterly disappointed.