Kelso Quote #857
Kelso: You guys, I just got offered the best job in the world! I'm gonna be a security guard at the Playboy Club in Chicago!
Hyde: How the hell did that happen?
Kelso: Okay, last week I was in Chicago, right, and I did what I always do after I visit my daughter, I snuck into the Playboy Club. And as the guards were kicking me out, I thought to myself, I could do that! So then I talked to this guy there.
[flashback:]
Vic: So, let me tell you a little bit about what Vic does around here at the club.
Kelso: Ah, wait, who's Vic?
Vic: I'm Vic, keep up. What Vic does, is I'm responsible for overseeing security here. You see, it is our job to keep the girls safe and secure. [looks through hole in wall] Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're safe and secure today. Uh-huh, lather it up, Brenda!
Kelso: Uh, Michael wants to see Brenda!
Vic: No, employees only. We've got a code of ethics around here, Michael. Right there. So, Vic tells me you used to be a cop?
Kelso: Uh, wait, I thought that you were Vic?
Vic: There's another Vic, try to keep up.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Misfire’ Quotes
Quote from Kelso
[circle:]
Kelso: So it's the last circle before I go. Wait a minute, now I get why we call it a circle! That is freakin' awesome!
Jackie: You know Michael, I will always remember the first boy who kissed me. And proposed to me and told me that putting out makes your nails grow. I really believed you.
Donna: Kelso, I'm kinda gonna miss you constantly trying to grab my boob. Made me feel pretty. I am messed up.
Fez: Donna, I give you my word. I will always be here, trying to grab your boob. We'll do it for Kelso, who won't be here to do it anymore. Oh, God.
Hyde: Man... Kelso, this is weird. I always imagined our last moment together would be me watching you strapped to a home-made rocket flying around in circles screaming, "Turn it off! Turn it off!"
Kelso: Well. I guess this is goodbye. Man, I'm gonna miss this. Like, being down here, I've had, like, the best time of my life. And you know what? No matter where I live, I will love you guys forever. Well, I guess it's time to go. So, see ya. [exits]
Jackie: Bye, Michael.
Donna: Wow. He is really gone.
Fez: My beautiful tormentor.
Hyde: This sucks.
Kelso: [returns] I'm not leaving till tomorrow! And you were crying! Burn!
Quote from Jackie
Donna: And get this, I waited up for Eric to call me last night, and he never did. So I asked Mrs. Forman, "Is he okay?" And she said yeah, because he called her last night.
Jackie: Yeah, I mean, that is weird. Who would think that a boy who plays with dolls and bails on his wedding would be a mama's boy?
Quote from Bob
Bob: Sweetheart.
Donna: [wakes up] What?
Bob: Did you stay down here all night?
Donna: Oh yeah. I guess so. Eric never called, I hope he is okay.
Bob: Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. Either that, or he's dead. It can only be one of the two.