Eric: Well, I know some pretty horrible things about you, too, little lady. Fellas... Laurie here waxes her lips, legs, eyebrows, toes, and shoulder blades.
Laurie: In the fifth grade, Eric sent away for the Charles Atlas kit 'cause a girl kicked sand in his face.
Eric: You stuffed in high school.
Laurie: So did you.
Eric: Last year, Laurie used all of her birthday money to buy a back massager. Which isn't fooling anyone, by the way.
Laurie: Well... That's not as bad as when I walked in on you in bed with your Dorothy Hamill poster, and you were all...
Eric: Laurie was born with a tail! [Fez gasps]
Hyde: What?
Eric: Yeah, Laurie was born with a tail.
Laurie: I hate you! [runs out]
Eric: It's true.

Hyde: Boy, Laurie, you really liked that hot dog. You didn't even chew it.
Laurie: Oh, hey, Hyde, Father's Day is coming up. Shouldn't you practice saying "Hi, are you my daddy?"
Hyde: Oh, by the way, Laurie, the surgeon general called. He wanted you to stop hoarding all the penicillin.
Laurie: You know, when you're in prison, your bad table manners will probably just be a turn-on for some guy named Tank.
Hyde: Oh, well, maybe when you're there for a conjugal visit, you can ask him to take it easy on me.
Laurie: Oh, yeah, well... Nice hair.

Donna: I was over at Jackie's this morning. She is so down. It's really depressing.
Kelso: She's taking the breakup pretty hard, huh? Cool.
Hyde: Shut up, man. You cried like a baby.
Kelso: Whoa, I did not cry. I had something in my eye.
Hyde: For a week?
Kelso: I have allergies, all right? Is it so wrong to feel?