Red Quote #140

Quote from Red in I Love Cake

[After Red knocks on Midge's door, she opens the shutters]
Midge: Oh. It's you. I'm not taking him back, Red.
Red: No, no, no, no. I'm just gonna trim a few of these branches for you.
Midge: Okay.
[Red closes the shutters, runs down the side of the house and grabs a severed tree branch. He lays down on the ground and places the branch on top of himself.]
Red: Help! Midge, I'm trapped under this very heavy branch! Help!
Midge: [comes out] Oh, my God! Red! Are you hurt?
Red: Go, Bob, go!
[Midge screams as Bob quickly runs into the house and closes the door.]
Bob: I'm in!
Midge: Oh! Red, that was not nice.
Red: I'm not sorry, Midge.

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 ‘I Love Cake’ Quotes

Quote from Eric

Eric: Oh, my God. Did you hear that? It sounds like a bloody hook scraping against the back door. What's... What's wrong? You're like a million miles away.
Donna: I don't- I don't know. It's just that my parents are fighting like, all the time. It just makes me so mad. Like I want to kick their asses, but I can't. But I want to do something.
Eric: Okay. Take me, Donna.
Donna: What?
Eric: Go ahead. Take me. Punish your parents by using me for sex. Do your business and be done with it. Go ahead. Don't be shy. I can take it. But... God, do be gentle.
Donna: You didn't actually think that was gonna work, did you?
Eric: No, but I'm a virgin, and it's driving me crazy. But that's not your fault... No, wait. Yes, it is.

Quote from Bob

Bob: Hi, you two. Thought you might wanna know. Midge and I worked things out.
Red: Well, that's just great, Bob.
Bob: Yeah. We're separating.
Red: You can't stay with us.
Bob: No. I'll be staying at home. We're gonna live together. We're just gonna see other people.
Red: Okay, Bob, I want you to think about this. You're living in the same house, but you're dating other people. I'm not saying for sure there'll be problems, but I want you to think about it. Think hard, Bob.
Bob: I think it's gonna be sexy.

Quote from Eric

Eric: So, they're really gonna separate?
Donna: Yeah, but they're still gonna live together.
Eric: Oh. Wow. Are... Are you okay?
Donna: Yeah, but, I mean, that's just like the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I mean, how's that supposed to work?
Eric: Well, I imagine it'll be like when Gilligan and the Skipper had a fight, and they drew a chalk line down the center of their hut. That worked out great.
Donna: Yeah. That solved all their problems.
Eric: Yeah. [Donna chuckles] I love you.
Donna: I love you, too.
Eric: All right, then. [Donna chuckles] [they kiss]