Fez Quote #692

Quote from Fez in Going Mobile

Hyde: So, let's just do rock, paper, scissors, see who the best man is, all right?
Fez: No, no, no, no. I hate that game. I always lose.
Hyde: 'Cause you always pick rock.
Fez: That's because nothing beats rock.
Hyde: Paper beats rock. Those are the rules.
Fez: Eh, not buying it.
Hyde: Fine. We'll play a new game. How about cockroach, foot, nuclear bomb? Foot squashes cockroach. Nuclear bomb... Pow! ...blows up foot. And cockroach survives nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, that's great. I'll be nuclear bomb. Nothing beats nuclear bomb.
Hyde: I just told you, cockroach beats nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, we'll see about that.

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 ‘Going Mobile’ Quotes

Quote from Bob

Bob: Oh, hey, Kitty. Listen, I think I'm just gonna take Donna home and call it a night.
Kitty: Oh, don't you dare. We need to act like everything is normal. Keep the party going. Keep Donna happy. Didn't you have a speech to give?
Bob: Kitty, I don't think it's still appropriate...
Kitty: Okay, Bob's got a speech. Everybody, listen to Bob's speech. Speech! Speech!
Bob: I guess I could change a few things as I go along. [clears throat] "To the lovely bride and the handsome...
bride. I know the... one of you will make... yourself very happy. Your life will surely be enriched by all the time you spend with... alone. You are truly one soul becoming one joined... alone forever. So I don't look at this as the day I lose a daughter. I look at this as the day I gain... nobody." Salute.

Quote from Fez

Hyde: Ready? One, two, three. Cockroach beats nuclear bomb. That is 38 wins in a row. I think it's safe to say that I'm the best man.
Fez: No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just noticed something. Cockroach always wins. One more time, for all the marbles.
Hyde: Fine. One, two, three. [Hyde plays foot and Fez plays cockroach]
Fez: Foot, I forgot about foot. So foot always wins. One more time. Winner, best man, period.
Hyde: One, two, three.
Fez: Bomb! Nuclear bomb beats foot. It's like everything in this game loses to something else!
Hyde: Yes, it's exactly like that.
Fez: Wait, except... Aha! I was so blind. Nuclear bomb beats everything. One more time, winner take all.
Hyde: One, two, three. [Hyde plays cockroach and Fez plays nuclear bomb]
Fez: I'm going home.

Quote from Bob

Bob: Eric better have a good reason for being late. There's only two acceptable excuses for tardiness in a Pinciotti household. One, traffic was terrible. Two, I should have left earlier, but I was doing something.
Red: Well, Donna's not here, either. Oh, maybe her new house ran out of gas.

 Fez Quotes

Quote from A Legal Matter

Red: Okay, I think that we've been reviewing long enough. Let's see what you've learnt. I'll start you off with an easy one. Where do you live?
Fez: Amedica.
Red: It's pronounced America.
Fez: That's what I said, Amedica.
Red: America.
Fez: Amedica.

Quote from Going Mobile

Hyde: Ready? One, two, three. Cockroach beats nuclear bomb. That is 38 wins in a row. I think it's safe to say that I'm the best man.
Fez: No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just noticed something. Cockroach always wins. One more time, for all the marbles.
Hyde: Fine. One, two, three. [Hyde plays foot and Fez plays cockroach]
Fez: Foot, I forgot about foot. So foot always wins. One more time. Winner, best man, period.
Hyde: One, two, three.
Fez: Bomb! Nuclear bomb beats foot. It's like everything in this game loses to something else!
Hyde: Yes, it's exactly like that.
Fez: Wait, except... Aha! I was so blind. Nuclear bomb beats everything. One more time, winner take all.
Hyde: One, two, three. [Hyde plays cockroach and Fez plays nuclear bomb]
Fez: I'm going home.

Quote from Love of My Life

Hyde: So you grew up with Fez, huh? You know, we've been wondering something for a long time. Where the hell are you guys from?
Fez: Um, isn't it obvious?
Donna: Okay, just tell us what's the name of your country?
Andrew Davis: Well, that depends on whether you ask the British or the Dutch.
Hyde: Okay, so what if we ask the British?
Andrew Davis: Oh, no, no, no, no! They wouldn't tell you. They hate us.
Hyde: So, what if we ask the Dutch?
Fez: Oh, who can understand a word they say?