Kelso Quote #511
Quote from Kelso in No Quarter
Kelso: [rings bell] All right, here I am.
Roy: Oh, Steven, meet our new kitchen assistant.
Hyde: You hired Kelso? Do you know how many fires this guy's started?
Kelso: Three electrical, two chemical, and one that even surprised me.
Roy: Well, I wanted to help him out, and he said he needed a job.
Kelso: Yeah, if I'm gonna be a cop, I gotta quit modeling. I mean, I can't have the perps looking at pictures of me half-naked. Oh, and, uh, everywhere I work, I like to feel at home so I brought a little something of Jackie's.
Roy: Okay, uh, I think that's a health code violation. But I'm gonna look the other way, which is hard to do, 'cause , look, panties! [chuckles]
Kelso: [laughs] Yeah, I burned you with the panties again! Two days, two locations. That burn is on tour.
Features in the collection: Kelso: Burn!.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Kelso: Burn!’
Quote from Red in The Battle of Evermore
Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.
Quote from Kelso in What is and What Should Never Be
Fez: Ah, we've been here for, like, an hour. We've only moved, like, two feet.
Kelso: You think the lines at the D.M.V. are long? You should see the free clinic. Now, there's a wait.
Hyde: Man, you've been to the free clinic?
Kelso: No. Oh, but I did see your mom there. Burn! [Hyde punches Kelso's arm] [chuckles] That's gonna leave a mark. Just like your mom did! [laughs]
‘No Quarter’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Red: You know, it occurs to me that since I paid the allowance that bought those records in the first place, that money's mine.
Eric: Well, it occurs to me that possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Red: Keep up with the smart mouth, and my foot will be 9/10ths of the way up your ass.
Hyde: You know, Forman, you should write a book: Things My Father Threatened To Put In My Ass. "Chapter One: His Foot." I'd buy that.
Quote from Red
Bob: Here you go. One general-issue military cot slightly used from my days in the National Guard.
Red: Well, it's good to know that the National Guard was getting a good night's sleep while I was in the South Pacific dodging bullets and using coral as toilet paper!
Quote from Jackie
Donna: Jackie, I thought you were gonna put everything away.
Jackie: I did. The hardest thing was finding room for my shoes. But then I realized I could just fit them inside your shoes.