Kitty: I suppose we could call social services.
Red: Yeah, see, now that's sensible.
Kitty: Yeah, they'll know what to do.
Red: Yes.
Kitty: I mean, after all, they take thousands of cases every year. So many, in fact, that they have to house them in gymnasiums. [sobs]
Red: Kitty!
Kitty: With no heat.
Red: [bleep] Damn it! I am tired of being [bleep] Santa Claus! Steven, you get your [bleep] together and you get your ass in the [bleep] damn car! We're going! [bleep] Now, [bleep], damn it! Move it!
Hyde: Okay. [runs out]
Kitty: You are just the sweetest man alive. [exits]
Red: [bleep]!

Bob: But, Midge why do you have to have your Woman Warrior meetings here every week?
Midge: Because none of the other feminists' husbands will let them.
Bob: Boy, those bastards.
Midge: I know. Bob, these meetings have really opened my eyes. For example, the English language is so oppressive to women. I mean, why is it "mailman" and not "mailwoman"?
Bob: Why do they even call the mail "mail"? Why not call it "femail"?
Midge: Yes! You see, Bob, now you're thinking.
Bob: No, I'm not. I'm just being funny, because it's stupid.
Midge: Okay, then that's why you're part of the problem. [exits]
Bob: My wife is a maniac. I'm sorry, a womaniac.

Eric: Dad, can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde could stay for dinner?
Red: Eric, again? I can't afford to feed your friends. I can't even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to.
Eric: Look, his mom's out of town.
Red: All right. But you have to fill up on bread. And the two of you are splitting a pork chop.