Fez Quote #318

Quote from Fez in Jackie Says Cheese

Fez: Look at that foreign bastard... cracking up the whores.
Hyde: Checking the score. Old foreign guy: nada. New foreign guy: dos.
Fez: Hey, if I pretend to say something funny, will you laugh?
Hyde: No.
Fez: That Thomas is shady. But have you noticed he never says what country he's from?
Hyde: What country are you from?
Fez: What country are you from?
Hyde: America.
Fez: Fine. Mystery solved.

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 ‘Jackie Says Cheese’ Quotes

Quote from Kelso

Eric: This is freaky, man. Red hasn't said anything about the stash, which can only mean he's gone to the much-feared stage: beyond yelling. He's gone Darth Vader, man.
Kelso: Or instead of Red snagging you, maybe you snagged Red dipping into Hyde's stash. I'm just sayin', everyone's tryin' it.
[fantasy: circle:]
Hyde: I guess Kelso's right. Everyone is trying it.
Red: I'm telling you, this stuff isn't just for cakes. It's great all by itself. [squirts cream into mouth] Mmm! Wait, wait. Watch this. [squirts cream onto head] Look at me. I'm Whipped-cream Head! Fear me! All fear Whipped-cream Head! [sinister laugh] Mmm!
[reality:]
Eric: Kelso, that was delightful. But the only part you left out is where Red kills me!

Quote from Fez

Thomas: Oh, the football team loves me. I'm their new placekicker.
Fez: What? Oh, the room is spinning! How did you do all this?
Thomas: I have delightful accent.
Fez: So do I.
Thomas: Yes, but a nerd with an accent is still a nerd. Now, good day, sir.
Fez: [scoffs] I say "good day." Now, good day.
Thomas: Good day.
Fez: Good day.
Both: I said good day! [Thomas walks away]
Fez: He stole that from me.
Eric: But, Fez-
Fez: I said from me!

Quote from Red

[As they eat breakfast at the kitchen table, Eric and Red both stick their fork in the last waffle]
Eric: Hey. L'Eggo my Eggo.
Red: Hey. L'Eggo my foot in your ass.