Donna: So my parents are fighting all the time and they want me to choose sides. But I can't because they're both idiots. I don't know. I mean, I really think they're gonna get a divorce.
Jackie: Oh, my God, Donna, I am so sorry. But you know what? That very thing happened to a good friend of mine and now she has twice as much stuff, twice as much clothes, and her parents even fought over who got to buy her a car.
Donna: I mean, you're right, Jackie. This whole divorce thing could actually work to my advantage.
Jackie: Exactly.
Donna: Yeah, I just have to make it very clear that my love is contingent on how much they buy me.
Jackie: Why am I even talking to you about this? You have a great handle on it.
Donna: Excuse me, um, Jackie, when exactly did you lose your soul?
Jackie: Um... cheerleading camp.

Red: I want a big TV. A big one.
Eric: This one's on sale.
Red: That's last year's model. And my TV's gonna be new.
Hyde: What about that one?
Red: No remote. My TV's gotta have a remote. Oh, look at this. Twenty-six-inch screen. I didn't even know they made them that big.
Eric: Dad, your old TV wasn't that big.
Red: No. But my new TV's gonna be that big.

Bull: Hey, Red, I noticed in the paper that your plant's closing down.
Red: Yeah, you can't compete with those damn foreign cars. I tell you, if I'd seen this coming I'd have shot a little straighter during the war.