Hyde: Hey, what do I need Jackie for, man? I know more about this stuff than she does. The three true branches of the government are military, corporate, and Hollywood. I need a pencil. I got it. I got it.

Kitty: All right. All right. Now, you listen up. I have had an extremely stressful day. And I am not proud of what I'm about to say, but someone give me a cigarette! Now!
Eric: But, Mom, we don't smoke.
Kitty: Cut the crap, Eric. I am a nurse. I know that one in five teenagers smoke. One, two, three, four, five. Now, I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them there had better be a cigarette between these two fingers. Come on, people, hop to!
[One person reaches out to Kitty and puts a cigarette between her fingers]
Kitty: Thank you. Light?
[Everybody reaches out with a lighter]

Jackie: Okay. You know what, Michael? I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna do my homework.
Eric: You do your homework on a Saturday night?
Jackie: Yeah.
Eric: Look, I mean, look at me. I've got a 1,000-word term paper due Monday but you don't see me sweating. I've got a whole crappy Sunday to do it.
Kelso: Jackie, don't go home. I mean, Steve Martin's hosting Saturday Night.
Jackie: I hate that show, okay? They have commercials that you think are real but they're not real. And then you wanna buy the stuff.