Fez Quote #947

Quote from Fez in Leaving Home Ain't Easy

Jackie: Fez!
Fez: Ho, ho, ho, Green Jackie!
Jackie: Fez, you completely ruined my hair!
Fez: You destroyed my car!
Jackie: I had every right to destroy your car, you turned me down!
Fez: You turned me down like a million times and I never did anything!
Hyde: Actually, I remember a lot of crying.
Fez: Yes, I cried. Because I have feelings. Unlike you, Jackie.
Jackie: Oh, I have feelings. And they told me to buy a bottle of spray paint and tell the whole world that you have a tiny...
Fez: It's normal sized! Well, you know what? I'm glad I turned you down. Because, you're a mean, bitter girl. And now you're ugly on the outside like you are ugly in the inside.
Hyde: Holy crap, man, cover your nipples!
Jackie: I can't believe that's what you really think of me.
Fez: Well, it is.
Jackie: Okay, fine. I'll just go pack up my things and get out of your life.

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 ‘Leaving Home Ain't Easy’ Quotes

Quote from Bob

Red: Bob, I'm sorry that I said that your idea is stupid.
Kitty: And?
Red: And... The next time you have a stupid idea, I'll just keep my mouth shut.
Bob: You know what, Red? I really don't give a damn what you think. All these years I've had to put up with you cutting me down, calling me dumbass. Well, guess what? You're the dumbass! You're nothing but a cranky [bleep] who thinks his [bleep] don't stink, so you can blow it out your [bleep] ass! What? What, you want to hit me? Go ahead, you bald [bleep]. Yeah, go ahead, do it! I'm not afraid of you. In fact, I'll kick your bony [bleep] ass right now!
Red: Bob, you've got some nerve! Good for you! It's about time you stuck up for yourself and acted like a man.
Bob: I'm sorry, Red, it just slipped out. [hugs Red]

Quote from Fez

Hyde: Damn, man, that was harsh.
Fez: Yeah. It must have been my Jamaican Fire.
Hyde: So, you're from Jamaica?
Fez: No, Jamaican Fire. It's my new cologne.

Quote from Red

Red: You were in Florida?
Bob: Yeah, I was gone for three weeks. You didn't notice?
Red: I just figured my migraine medicine was working.

 Fez Quotes

Quote from Going Mobile

Hyde: So, let's just do rock, paper, scissors, see who the best man is, all right?
Fez: No, no, no, no. I hate that game. I always lose.
Hyde: 'Cause you always pick rock.
Fez: That's because nothing beats rock.
Hyde: Paper beats rock. Those are the rules.
Fez: Eh, not buying it.
Hyde: Fine. We'll play a new game. How about cockroach, foot, nuclear bomb? Foot squashes cockroach. Nuclear bomb... Pow! ...blows up foot. And cockroach survives nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, that's great. I'll be nuclear bomb. Nothing beats nuclear bomb.
Hyde: I just told you, cockroach beats nuclear bomb.
Fez: Oh, we'll see about that.

Quote from A Legal Matter

Red: Okay, I think that we've been reviewing long enough. Let's see what you've learnt. I'll start you off with an easy one. Where do you live?
Fez: Amedica.
Red: It's pronounced America.
Fez: That's what I said, Amedica.
Red: America.
Fez: Amedica.

Quote from Going Mobile

Hyde: Ready? One, two, three. Cockroach beats nuclear bomb. That is 38 wins in a row. I think it's safe to say that I'm the best man.
Fez: No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just noticed something. Cockroach always wins. One more time, for all the marbles.
Hyde: Fine. One, two, three. [Hyde plays foot and Fez plays cockroach]
Fez: Foot, I forgot about foot. So foot always wins. One more time. Winner, best man, period.
Hyde: One, two, three.
Fez: Bomb! Nuclear bomb beats foot. It's like everything in this game loses to something else!
Hyde: Yes, it's exactly like that.
Fez: Wait, except... Aha! I was so blind. Nuclear bomb beats everything. One more time, winner take all.
Hyde: One, two, three. [Hyde plays cockroach and Fez plays nuclear bomb]
Fez: I'm going home.