Fez: Jackie, what is it about me that makes every woman leave? I'm going to die alone with nothing but a room full of candy and pornography to keep me company. Although, as I say that, it sounds okay.

Red: Good morning.
Kitty: Hi, Red. You're up early. You're retired. You should be sleeping in.
Red: Yeah, well, I was awoken by the pleasant sound of birds chirping outside my window. And now that I don't have to work, I finally have time to poison them.
Kitty: I feed those birds bread every day.
Red: Good. That'll make it easier.
Hyde: Red, I don't think you have embraced retirement yet. What you need to do is get yourself a robe, go sit out on the porch, then shake your fists and yell stuff like, "Dagnabit! Why I ought to..."
Red: I have to say, I looked forward to retirement as much as I looked forward to playing catch with my son. And both of them have left me bitterly disappointed.

Kitty: Well, you know, we could take a trip. When Amy O'Brian's husband retired, they went to see the nutcracker museum in Rhode Island. We don't have to go anywhere that fancy, but there is that cave in West Virginia I've been wanting to see.
Hyde: That's a good idea, Red. You and Kitty you should travel. You know, see the world.
Red: I saw the world when I was in the Navy. It shot at me.
Kitty: I don't know. West Virginia is supposed to be pretty nice. It is the Ohio of the Atlantic states.