Bob: Hey, look. I finally got invited to the Point Place veterans' reunion.
Red: What? They don't invite National Guardsmen.
Bob: They didn't. But I wrote a bunch of angry letters until they changed their policy.
Red: Well, that's just great, Bob. Maybe if you'd written a bunch of angry letters to Hitler we could've avoided a war in the first place.
Kitty: I don't think that would have worked. That Hitler seemed like a real cranky bear.

Jackie: Oh, my God, Fez, I feel really bad for Eric. When Michael was cheating on me, I was devastated. But eventually I learned that the saying is true. It's better to have loved and lost than to be butt-ugly.

Fez: It's been two weeks since we send Eric our letter. Shouldn't he be home by now?
Jackie: Well, it takes about a week to get a letter to Africa, then there is three days of Eric twitching and fidgeting. Oh, then there is a two day hippo-ride to the airport. So, yeah, he should be home by now.