Eric: Man, it's like I finally figured out what I wanna do with my life, and now I might never be able to do it. And, might I add, through no fault of my own.
Donna: Eric, the last time you used the phrase "through no fault of my own" was when you said, "Donna, your cat's dead through no fault of my own." Which I later found out meant, "Donna, I ran over your cat."

Eric: I don't know why she's so mad.
Red: Well, you'll often find, as you go through life, that when you try to turn your girlfriend into a prostitute, she gets cranky.
Eric: Okay, but, Dad, passing PE is all that's standing between me and the rest of my life.
Red: You're lucky this table is standing between my foot and your ass.

Jackie: Okay, the first event is the talent portion of the competition.
Kelso: Okay. Judges, I present you with a dramatic scene from the major motion picture The Godfather. [screams] "There's an entire horse in my bed. Why would you do this, Godfather. Why?" And then the horse says, "[neighs] Let this be a warning."
Hyde: The horse doesn't talk, Kelso.
Kelso: Oh. I was thinking of Jaws. "Look at my jaw."