Kitty: So, what's new in the world of rock 'n' roll? 'Cause this cool cat wants the skinny on the bebop, maestro.
Hyde: Uh, well, tomorrow we have Tom Jones coming in for a record signing at the store.
Kitty: Tom Jones! I love him! Oh, and the way he shakes his hips. [laughs] It just... It makes me feel all nervous and embarrassed. Boy, that sounds like fun.
Red: Fun for you, maybe. You're a middle-aged woman.
Kitty: What?
Red: Don't "what" me. The average lifespan is 72, so if you're older than 36, which you are, then, by definition, you're middle-aged. Discussion over.
Kitty: Okay, when you're right, you're right.
Hyde: Wow.
Red: I win an argument every six years or so.

Kelso: Hey, Angie, when Tom Jones gets here, you're not gonna throw your underpants at him, are you?
Angie: Michael, you know I don't wear underwear.
Hyde: Come on, man, you're my sister.
Kelso: I just told her to say that to gross you out. Burn!
Hyde: Yeah, you got me.
Kelso: Besides, I happen to know that she does wear underwear. Sometimes she lets me take them off for her. Boomerang burn!

Donna: Mr. Randall, down at the radio station, wants me to host a live remote from Hyde's record store when Tom Jones is there. And to promote it, they want to put me on a billboard wearing this. [holds up tiny bikini]
Eric: That's just good radio.
Donna: Well, I'm not wearing it. I should be valued for my voice and music knowledge, not my body, no matter how smoking it is.
Kelso: There you go again with your "women should be valued for their minds" gobbledygook.
Jackie: Donna, women should be valued for their looks. Men should be valued for their cars, and foreigners should be valued for their ability to sweep.
Fez: Hey, hey. We also drive a mean taxi.