Red Quote #601

Quote from Red in Sparks

Kitty: Well, just what the heck is this?
Bob: What a great auction. Red had a few beers and bought a canoe.
Red: I bought a canoe.
Bob: Who would've thought? Me and Red go out and he's the one to buy something stupid. [holds up a taxidermy bobcat] I don't know where I'm gonna put this.
Kitty: Red, why would you buy a canoe?
Red: I think the question is, why haven't I before?
Kitty: But we can't afford this.
Red: Sure we can. I used the money that you gave me yesterday.
Kitty: That was for Eric's wedding present.
Red: Congratulations, Eric. I knew you always wanted a canoe.

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 ‘Sparks’ Quotes

Quote from Eric

Eric: All right, fine. Can we look at our ring inscriptions, or is that bad luck, too?
Donna: Well, no, that I have to look at so I can return it in case you wrote something stupid.
Eric: "To Eric, love Donna." Well, it's not stupid. It's short. It's terse. Quite possibly even a little rude.
Donna: "All my friends know the low rider." [chuckle] Um, I don't get it. Am I the low rider? Wait. What do you mean all your friends know me? Are you saying I'm a whore?
Eric: No, no, Donna. Low Rider is the song that was playing in the car at the end of our first date. Remember, you wore that red dress, and at the end of the night I kissed you, and I remember thinking, I just... You know, "I just can't believe she's with me."
Donna: Eric, that is the most romantic thing I've ever heard. Take your pants off.
Eric: And that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Quote from Red

Red: Kitty, I think I've got it this time. For my wedding present for Eric, one of my medals from the war.
Kitty: No.
Red: How about my uniform from the war?
Kitty: No.
Red: My gun from the war?
Kitty: No.
Red: My boots from the war?
Kitty: No.
Red: My canteen from the war?
Kitty: No. It can't be anything you had on or near you when you killed somebody.
Red: How about the ring my dad wore?
Kitty: Oh, that's nice.
Red: When he killed people in World War I.
Kitty: Well, now you're just trying to make me mad.
Red: Yeah, I am.

Quote from Kitty

Kitty: Fine, Red. Since you blew the money, I expect you to come up with a nice sentimental gift for Eric that doesn't cost anything. Well, that's what you get for going out and drinking. Maybe one day you'll learn to stay at home and drink, like me.