Eric Quote #761
Quote from Eric in Happy Jack
Eric: Okay, okay. Okay, something happened. And I think it's safe to say that it was certainly in the area of horrific. Like war, or when my mom sings "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" while she vacuums.
Fez: What happened?
Eric: Well, we all know that as a young man in the prime of his life, I have some needs.
Fez: Amen, brother.
Hyde: Wait a minute. This is the prime of your life? You live at home with your mommy and you have to wear a name tag at work.
Eric: Anyway... Today, at the house of the woman that I was theoretically going to marry, I had some needs that I felt it necessary to take care of right then and there.
Hyde: In her house? Why don't you just do it at the bus station like the other degenerates?
Eric: It's... I... You know, I don't know. There I was, there the bathroom was. It was like two trains passing in the night.
Fez: That's beautiful.
Eric: You know, it kind of was. And then Donna walked in.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Happy Jack’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Donna: No, this has been really hard. And this celibacy thing was my idea, so... I need to accept some responsibility for the odd and disgusting things you do.
Eric: That's right, you do.
Donna: But, you know, next time, be like a normal person. Go to your room, lock the door, light some candles, put on some Al Green and make an evening of it.
Eric: Wow, Donna, that was really detailed. [chuckles] It's almost like... Oh, my God! You do it, too!
Donna: What?
Eric: No, no! I'd noticed the candles getting lower, even though I'd never seen them lit!
Donna: All right, this conversation is over! [exits]
Eric: Wow. So, this is where it all happens. [takes candle]
Quote from Jackie
Donna: Okay, the thing is, I knew Eric did that, but knowing and seeing are two very different things. It's kind of like how I know there are rats under the house.
Jackie: But you don't want to see the rats diddling themselves in your bathroom.
Donna: Exactly!
Jackie: But, Donna, you're missing the whole point here. Eric's perverted behavior can be a card you could play for the rest of your life. Let's just say you want Eric to buy you a diamond, but he says, "No." You just say, "Why, are you busy?" Five minutes later, you're Elizabeth Taylor.
Donna: Yeah, I think I need advice from a woman in a relationship not built on blackmail.
Jackie: It's called a lesbian, Donna, and you're going to have to go to New York for that.
Quote from Fez
Eric: You know what? This is Donna's fault with her, you know, "No more sex till we're married" crap. You guys have no idea how hard it's been to have no sex at all.
Fez: Yeah, it must be horrible.
Eric: Seriously, you guys, what do I do now?
Hyde: I say you've got to pull a Nixon. Deny, deny, deny.
Fez: No, you just need a good story. Whenever I get caught, I just tell people that I'm checking for ticks.
Hyde: Fez, how many times have you been caught?
Fez: Oh, come on, I'm not stopping just because a doorknob turns.