Red: So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass with no car, no job and no money trims the hedges.
Hyde: That was like eight burns in one sentence.
Donna: An octo-burn. Let's get the hell out of here.

Red: You think my problem is my own son? My son is a fine young man.
Eric: Wow, Dad, you don't have...
Red: Shut up, dumbass. You know less about my family than you do about football! Which isn't saying much, since you dropped every pass that came near you! And let me tell you something else. When a real Packer hurts his leg, he stuffs his kneecap back in and keeps on running!
Eric: That's what this little mushroom would have done.

Bob: Did you tell Fez to make a move on Pam? 'Cause if you didn't, I'm gonna box him up and send him back to banana town.
Fez: Okay, I'm sick of those comments. I don't say I'm gonna send you back to polyester town.

Donna: Why can't my dad just see that Pam is a total gold digger?
Jackie: Oh, would you stop saying that?
Fez: Hey, either she digs for gold or she doesn't. It's easy to check. Are her boots muddy? Does she carry a pickaxe? When she comes home does she say, "Tough day at the gold mine"?
Jackie: No, Fez, a gold digger is what these idiots call a woman who knows that love eventually wears off, but money is forever.

Hyde: I mean, how does Bob pull all these foxes like Midge and Pam? He's got to have something the ladies can't resist. Hey, Donna, you ever see your dad naked?
Donna: Oh, my God! Can we please talk about anything besides that?
Fez: You're way off, Hyde. Women love Bob for his sense of humor. That sucker is funnier than a Dixie cup.
Kelso: No. All right, how it works is relationships are based on a point system. All right, see, Pam is good-looking. So that's 20 points. And Bob, he's like the nicest guy in the world. So that's like, what? Like a point. But Bob's got money, and that's 19 points. And altogether that's 20. Now, you add the whole thing together, and that's 40, which is incidentally almost half my score.