Red: Still not speaking to me, huh?
Fez: Fine, I'll speak. I spent all day running your bald, grumpy ass around town and do I get a thanks? No. Because you're unpleasant.
Red: You want to know why I'm unpleasant? I just had a heart attack and now I have to be driven around like a useless dope by the idiot that married my daughter and gave me the heart attack in the first place. But I am also unpleasant because I just spent the entire day cooped up in the car breathing that mustard gas you call cologne. But mostly, I'm unpleasant because that's how it works in this family.
Fez: I'm family?
Red: Oh, crap.

Red: Okay, let's get a couple of things straight. I don't want to be here. You don't want to be here.
Fez: I want to be here.
Red: Fine. I don't want to be here and I don't care what you want.
Fez: Okay, then, are you buckled up?
Red: Yes.
Fez: Hmm. Because the little blinking man on the dashboard says you aren't. Buckle up.
Red: No.
Fez: Yes.
Red: No. Look, start this car or I'm gonna pack you in a crate, take you down to the port, and trade you for a year's supply of bananas.

Donna: Eric, what is happening to you?
Eric: Look, Donna, I'm sorry, but I'm not regressing. You gotta understand, I'm the man of this house now.
Kitty: [enters] Okay, who's ready for Spidey and a sandwich?
Eric: Me!
Donna: Mrs. Forman, your son is a big, lazy child because you keep babying him.
Kitty: I don't baby him.
Donna: Is there crust on that sandwich?
Kitty: Well, of course not. Crusts are icky. They make Eric sicky. Oh, my God, I'm ruining him. Eric, things are going to change around here, drastically. Tomorrow, you are getting a sandwich with the crusts on. And no more crazy straws. You will be drinking your chocolate milk from a standard straw. Now, who's hungry?
Hyde: I call sandwich.
Kelso: I call Spidey.
Fez: I call sandwich you haven't made yet.