Hyde Quote #477
Bob: I can't believe you're replacing me as Santa, Red. Three years and now management says I'm too jolly.
Red: What do you want, Bob?
Bob: I want to be Santa.
Kitty: Well, it's Red's turn this year. Santa could use an elf.
Bob: Fine, but I don't wanna sit in the back and pretend to assemble toys. I want to participate.
Hyde: Yeah, Bob, you gotta keep your dignity. If you're in an elf costume, you don't want that tiny hammer making you look silly.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Red: This mall is only big enough for one Santa, Bob.
Bob: Tell you what, you name five reindeer and I'll step down.
Red: I can name five toes that are gonna be in your ass.
Kitty: Oh, for goodness' sake! Why don't we stop calling it Christmas and call it "Assmas"?
Quote from Kitty
Kitty: Okay, Mr. Claus, [laughs] let's hear your best Santa laugh.
Red: Ho, ho.
Bob: You left out a "ho", Red. It's three "ho's". Did you even read the Santa manual?
Kitty: Okay, Red, I'm sure you'll do fine. Just remember, Santa is a cheerful, jolly fellow, who never calls a child "dumbass".
Quote from Red
Red: So, what do you want for Christmas?
Boy: I want a slinky.
Red: A slinky? Oh, you'll get sick of a slinky in a day. I'm putting you down for flash cards. Math, that's what you're getting for Christmas. Next.
[later:]
Girl: I want a pony.
Red: Ponies die. What you need is a good pair of boots. Go on, keep it moving.
[later:]
Girl #2: I want a flying car.
Red: I did, too, when I was your age, kid. But then the future came and took my dreams away. Just like it's gonna take yours.
Kitty: Okay, okay, little girl, you know what? I bet, if you're extra good, you'll get your flying car one day.
Red: Don't listen to her. It's a lie.
Kitty: Bad Santa.