Eric: Hey, Mom, look, I know you're worried about money, with Dad not being able to work, but I want you to know I'm gonna get right back out there and get a better job, a high-paying job.
Red: Oh, sure, just go down to the Bureau of High-Paying Jobs. You can't miss it. It's right next to the Pie-in-the-Sky Office. Jackass.

Eric: Hey, Hyde, where's table seven's fish?
Kelso: Oh, I got that for you, Eric. Here is your filet of sole. [reveals a shoe on a plate] Burn!

Kelso: Bob, what are you doing here, anyway?
Bob: Oh, it's just something I'm trying out.
Jackie: How's it going?
Bob: It's a little uncomfortable. I thought it would be better than sitting home alone. It's not.