Donna: I have a bad feeling about this weekend, Eric. Nothing good can come from us visiting different schools.
Eric: Well, yeah, but there's an upside. Two days apart? I mean, when we get together, it's gonna be electric, baby! Like a thunderstorm.
Donna: Eric, I'm serious. I mean, what if we actually end up going to different colleges? And we're apart for four years?
Eric: Well, then, come semester break, you better board up your windows. 'Cause guess what? Here comes Hurricane Eric.
Donna: Board up my windows? What are my windows? And whatever they are, wouldn't you want them open?
Eric: Hmm. Look, Donna. All I'm saying is that I think we can get through anything. We go to different schools now, and we're fine because our love is strong. Like a big, burly bear. So zip up your tent, 'cause guess what. This bear has claws.
Donna: Again, wouldn't you want my tent open?
Eric: Mmm.

Kitty: Red, um, you know, I've been a tad bit moody lately. [chuckles] So, um, if you don't want me to go on this trip, I'll understand.
Red: Well, you know, honey, there's really no need for you to go.
Kitty: I knew you didn't want me to go! Well, I am going, whether you like it or not. Why is it so damn hot in here? It's like it's- It's like we're living in hell! [exits]
Red: You can say that again.

Jackie: So, Steven? When I go to Marquette with Donna this weekend there'll be lots of cute boys around.
Hyde: Lucky you.
Jackie: Well, unlucky them, because I won't let them kiss me. Yeah, that's my promise to you. Now, I'm not saying you have to promise me anything. But if you want to, now would be a good time. Okay, well, just know that I won't be kissing anyone.
Hyde: Good to know.
Jackie: "Good to know"? What, that's it?
Hyde: Did I stutter?

Red: What the hell kind of college is this? Barefoot hippies playing Frisbee, barefoot hippies singing songs to trees...

Hyde: Man, what the hell did I just do? I just turned down a sure thing because of Jackie.
Fez: And you don't know what she's doing at Marquette. Or who.
Hyde: Man, she said she wouldn't do anything.
Fez: Yeah, but I bet if she did, you'd cry because you love her.
Hyde: If you don't shut up, you'll be the first person to touch his chin to his ass.
Fez: Have you been spying on me?

Eric: Donna loves it there. I don't know what to do.
Red: There's nothing any of us can do. We're all screwed. You think I like being stuck here nursing my lunatic wife back from the brink? Hell, no. But we can't control what happens to us. Even if, by some stroke of luck, you actually hang on to Donna eventually, she's gonna turn into that. And then, a few years later, you'll die.
Eric: Good. Thanks for the bedtime story.

Hyde: Look, Jackie. I know you were worried before so, I just want to let you know nothing happened on my end this weekend. I'm not telling you that so you'll tell me what you did. I just want to let you know what happened with me. That's my report to you.
Jackie: All right. Good to know.
Hyde: "Good to know"?
Jackie: D-Did I stutter?

Kitty: Okay. So, is everyone ready for our big trip to the University of Wisconsin?
Eric: Yeah, Donna and I have it all mapped out. She is going to buy a tight sweater with a big, red "W" on it, and I am going to watch her wear it. [laughs] And then we're gonna buckle down.

Kitty: Red? Honey. You know, I'm sorry about our little spat. The last thing I want to do is ruin our trip.
Red: Oh, sweetheart, that's okay. [Kitty chuckles]
Eric: Wow, Mom certainly cheered up.
Red: Don't be fooled. She's a ticking time bomb.

Kitty: Oh! It's like a sauna in here. Wish you didn't all have to breathe so much.
Eric: All right, guys. You heard the lady. No more breathing.
Kitty: No, I didn't tell you not to breathe, I asked you not to breathe as much. There's a difference.
Fez: [quietly] To crazy people.
Red: Hey, Ali Baba. Close sesame.
Hyde: Oh, Red. You just missed the exit.
Red: Oh, damn it! Eric, you're supposed to be following the map. What the hell are you doing back there?
Eric: Making you a crown? 'Cause you're king of the road!
Fez: I need to use the bathroom.
Red: Hey, can you turn up the radio?
Kelso: First and goal!
Hyde: How much further?
Kelso: Touchdown!
Kitty: Would you all just shut up?!