Fez: Next! Read the top letter, please.
Andy: It's an "E."
Fez: No! Fail. Move along.
Andy: Wh- What are you talking about, man? That's an "E."
Fez: Okay, I'll give you one more chance. Read the top letter, please.
Andy: "E."
Fez: No! Double fail!
Andy: Double fail? You made that up.
Fez: This, my blind friend, is a capital "E." The double fail stands.
Andy: Hey, wait a second. Aren't you the guy that got caught in the school shower with the lotion and the Playboy?
Fez: Pass, pass. Double pass.

Red: Now, stay with me.
Eric: Yeah. I'll be right on your bumper.
Red: Don't tailgate.
Eric: I'll keep a safe distance.
Red: Don't lollygag.
Eric: What do I even say?
Donna: Just smile and nod. [Eric smiles and nods]
Red: Don't smile and nod. You look like an idiot.

Donna: You know, I'm kind of excited about this road trip. We've been talking about fooling around in some place new and different... You and me alone in a car on a country road after dark?
Eric: Yeah. And hey, if I don't get lucky with you, we're bound to run into a farmer's daughter.
Donna: Hmm.

Fez: This is great: no broads, just us guys. We can really get to know each other.
Hyde: Fez, you try and lure me in the hot tub, and I'm kicking your ass.
Fez: I'm just saying, we're all so tense.

Donna: Okay. Jackie's directions say, "Pass the place I bought a green sweater. Don't stop. The cotton has polyester in it."
Eric: This is great. We're lost.
Donna: No, we're not lost. We just need to find our bearings. [sighs] Where would she go around here to find a green sweater?
Eric: Why, the green sweater store, Donna. Good thinking.
Donna: Hey, why are you mad at me?
Eric: I- Because you need to learn to control your urges. If you'd have kept your big foot out of my bean bags, we wouldn't be in this mess.
Donna: Well, excuse me for reading Cosmo and trying a little something. If you think you're gettin' the topless nachos now, you're crazy.
Eric: Whatever. Ah, man, now I'm hungry. I want my Twinkie.
Donna: You packed Twinkies?
Eric: I packed a Twinkie. There's only one left, and it's mine. Whoever packed it, snacked it. I've been lookin' forward to it all day.
Donna: Oh, you have? [eats]
Eric: That's nice. That's- That's very ladylike. [Donna grunts with her mouth full]

Kelso: Jackie and the Formans are here. And we're not supposed to be here. And this is illegal. We're busted.
Hyde: No, you're busted. I'm out the bathroom window.
Kelso: [gets hand stuck in vase] What? Get off of me. [Red and Kitty enter] Welcome to the cabin.
Red: What are you doing here?
Kelso: Yes!
Kitty: Well, you scared me. I thought you were a robber. Now I really need to go to the bathroom.
[When Kitty opens the door to the bathroom, Hyde walks out]
Hyde: Yeah, there was no window in there.

Eric: And, Donna, I'm sorry about what I said about your urges. I love your urges. They've been very good to me.
Donna: Hmm. Thanks. They do what they can.
Eric: Um, I'm waiting for my apology.
Donna: For what?
Eric: For that Twinkie you inhaled?
Donna: Are you serious? [scoffs] Okay. I'm sorry I ate your Twinkie.
Eric: You rolled your eyes. It doesn't count if you roll your eyes.
Donna: Okay. I'm sorry I ate your Twinkie.
Eric: Wh- You rolled your eyes again!
Donna: It was just a stupid Twinkie!
Eric: It was my Twinkie, Donna. [emotionally] It was my Twinkie.

Red: Scrub, damn it!
Kitty: I am scrubbing as hard as I can. This cleanser isn't strong enough.
Red: Kitty, it's bleach and lighter fluid. There is nothing stronger.
Kitty: Well, it is not strong enough. Nope. No good.
Red: We need a new table.