Jackie: What if it's fate? I mean, I have always thought of Michael as my soul mate. I mean, yes, we have our problems, but getting married will fix everything.
Fez: And if that doesn't work, you can just have a kid.
Jackie: Oh, my God, I'm so excited! I wonder when he is gonna ask me.
Fez: Well, that is a secret. At the Forman's party. You bitches are relentless!

Kelso: Ah, man, it's like I was really looking for some direction and that's why I was gonna get married, but now that'd be just like crazy, you know. Thank God I didn't say anything to Jackie.
Fez: Uh-oh, Kelso...
Kelso: Oh, man, she has absolutely no idea.
Fez: If I could just get a word in...
Kelso: For once in my life I didn't just blurt something out and then ruin everything!
Fez: Yes, about that...
Kelso: It's like I'm off scot-free!
Fez: Kelso, listen to me! I told Jackie you were proposing and now she's thrilled.
Kelso: How could you do that?
Fez: I know. I have a problem. Actually, now you have a problem. So, good luck with that.

Kelso: You told Jackie I was gonna propose to her?
Fez: Yes, and you should have seen all the squealing and jumping around. And Jackie was excited, too.

Hyde: You guys are idiots. Who gets married on a whim, anyway?
Fez: You did.
Hyde: Yeah, but that was to a stripper! And to be fair, I was pretty drunk, so I might have been trying to say, "Will you carry me?"

Donna: Jackie, you can't marry Kelso. Picture what your life would be like.
[fantasy:]
Jackie: Hi, honey, how was your day?
Kelso: Ah, great. I had another affair.
Jackie: What?
Kelso: Hey, you told me not to lie.
Jackie: Yeah, I told you not to lie or cheat.
Kelso: Right and I chose not to lie.
Jackie: Well, can I at least have some money for groceries?
Kelso: Sorry, babe, I got fired again, but I know what will make you feel better.
Jackie: Oh, no! Not another box of dogs.
Kelso: It's another box of dogs!
Jackie: Oh, no, no, no, Michael. This is not the life I pictured. I had dreams of a career, of travel. Of a husband who didn't have a girlfriend.
Kelso: Babe, I hear ya, I do, I really do. But you know what! Pantsed you! Burn! [chuckles] Hey, kids, I pantsed your mom again! Who wants to jump off the roof?
[reality:]
Donna: That's your life, Jackie.
Jackie: Oh, yeah? Well, just for that, I'm gonna toss my bouquet while you're in the can.

Kelso: Man, I'm all ready to propose and the Formans are late for their own 25th anniversary party. Don't they realize this is my night?

Jackie: When is Michael going to ask me? I can't stand the anticipation. This must be how fat girls feel between placing their order and getting their fries.

Kitty: Oh. Oh, my goodness. Oh. Everybody is here. What time is it? Oh. Oh, I must have left my watch at the...
Red: Ice store. But they were out of ice. Every one of them. This country is in the crapper.
Hyde: [answers phone] Hello. Okay. Mrs. Forman, that was the Starlight Motel. They, uh, found your watch in the Aphrodite suite.
Bob: Hiyo!
Kitty: [answers phone] Just keep the damn watch! Oh, hi, Eric! Oh, thanks, sweetie. Oh, Donna is right here, why don't you say hi.
Donna: [takes phone] Hi! Let me just switch to another room. Oh. Okay. I'll talk to you later, then. I love you. [hangs up] He had to run to class. So, I'm gonna go grab a beer.
Bob: The Aphrodite suite, huh? Sounds like you guys Aphro-did-it! Hiyo!

Fez: Can it be? It finally happened! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won! I won a bike! Read it and weep, loser!
Randy: That expired yesterday.
Fez: I'll kill you!