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Man with Money

‘Man with Money’

Season 6, Episode 16 -  Aired March 17, 2004

Donna and Jackie conspire to break up Bob and Pamela Burkhart (Brooke Shields). Meanwhile, Red has to wear a heart monitor.

Quote from Red

Red: Hey. What do you say we have some more of that lasagna? Boy, was that delicious. [imitates monitor beep]
Kitty: Oh, can it, Red. When Pam showed up, your heart monitor went off like a freaking slot monitor.
Red: Pam had nothing to do with that thing going off, damn it!
Kitty: Oh, and look at us now, we're arguing. Can't even get a beep out of you.

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Quote from Red

Red: Come on, I'm gonna prove to you that I'm not attracted to Pam.
Pamela: Hey, guys. [Red's monitor beeps]
Red: I think I'm having a war flashback. I'm messed up, Kitty. I'm real messed up.

Quote from Eric

Donna: I cannot believe you told my dad to stay with Pam. She doesn't even like you. She told my dad you groped her at the party.
Eric: Okay, look, Donna. You and Pam obviously have some serious issues. I think you two should work them out with a good old-fashioned pillow fight. Come on, Jackie, I think maybe you should throw on a nightgown and defend your mom.
Jackie: You're sick! And you, you were no help, either.
Hyde: Hey, I was just agreeing with Forman so he didn't look so bad.
Jackie: You said it before he did.
Hyde: Oh, yeah.

Quote from Kitty

Pamela: What are you guys talking about?
Kitty: Um... [chortles] I, um... I, I, I sort of thought that... That Red had a crush on you.
Pamela: Oh, Kitty. I'm sorry. This face can bring as much trouble as it does joy.
Red: Well, Kitty, what do you have to say for yourself?
Kitty: It's the menopause. I'm messed up, Red. I'm real messed up.

Quote from Fez

Pamela: Um... Hello. What are you doing?
Fez: I was hired to clean the hot tub. But you should know that I... ...perform other services, too.
Pamela: Well, you could start by doing a better job. It's still dirty.
Fez: Oh! So, you like it dirty?
Pamela: No, I want it clean.
Fez: So, you like it filthy?
Pamela: Bob!
Fez: Whoa, I'm not into that. [chuckles] No.

Quote from Kelso

Kelso: Hey, Eric, that was a good burn stealing my clothes. The laugh's on you, 'cause I borrowed your pants and I'm not wearing any underwear. [giggles about]
Eric: Kelso, just so you know, the last time I wore those pants, I wasn't wearing any underwear.
Kelso: Ouch, well played.

Quote from Hyde

Donna: Where the hell is Fez? He should have been back by now.
Jackie: I swear, if he touched my mother inappropriately, he is never borrowing my curling iron again.
Hyde: Man, first I wanted to be Bob. Now I wish I was Fez. What the hell is going on this week?

Quote from Bob

Donna: Dad, I'm really sorry. It was just the only thing we could think of to prove that Pam doesn't, you know, really care about you.
Bob: Well, guess what? She does really care about me. So, you can stop playing these little games, because Pam makes me happier than I have been in a long time. And you better accept it soon, 'cause she's here to stay. That's right, I will have my pretty lady. This Bob is back.
[Eric, Hyde and Kelso start to clap]
Eric: Way to go, Bob.
Hyde: Yeah, Bob.
Kelso: I love you, man!
Eric: Bob, you're just like me. We give regular guys hope. You can't leave Pam because... Because Pam is your Donna.
Jackie: Steven, am I your Donna?
Hyde: That doesn't apply to us. We're both good-looking.
Donna: Dad, can we at least talk about this?
Bob: I'm sorry, Donna. That's the way it's gonna be. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Quote from Fez

Jackie: Should've known this wasn't gonna work. Foreigners never finish a job.
Fez: Oh, please. If Bob hadn't shown up, I'd be your step daddy right now.

Quote from Eric

Eric: B-7.
Hyde: Miss.
Eric: Oh, man, how do I keep missing you?
Hyde: It's 'cause I don't have any boats on there. [monitor beeps] What's that noise?
Eric: It's my dad's heart monitor.
Hyde: Where's your mom?
Eric: She's with him. [shouts] Oh, man, take off the beeper! Other people live here!

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