‘Man with Money’
Season 6, Episode 16 - Aired March 17, 2004
Donna and Jackie conspire to break up Bob and Pamela Burkhart (Brooke Shields). Meanwhile, Red has to wear a heart monitor.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: You know, there's a lot of talk about Pam. But, Eric, I still have feelings for your mom. I mean, she comes off all pure, but she's dirty.
Quote from Donna
Eric: You guys, all I know is, pretty-tanned lady touched my butt. And that is more action than I've gotten in weeks.
Donna: Keep it up, you'll be having sex with yourself.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: Man, I can't believe you guys aren't in Bob's hot tub. You know, I feel like Warren Beatty in a movie about a hot tub. He's like hot tubbing, then like... other stuff happens.
Eric: Kelso, just so you know, Bob was in there an hour ago. So you are like covered in hot bubbly Bob.
Quote from Hyde
Donna: Dad, will you please listen to us? We talked about it and we really think you need to break up with Pam.
Bob: No way.
Jackie: Open your eyes. Everyone can see what a big mistake this is.
Bob: Oh, so everyone here thinks I should just break up with Pam?
Hyde: I say stick with her, Bob. My only advice is take pictures, otherwise no one's gonna believe you.
Jackie: Don't listen to him. He grew up poor. He's stupid.
Quote from Kelso
Bob: What do you think, Eric?
Donna: Yeah, Eric. What do you think? I hope it's the right answer.
Eric: You love that woman for all she's worth, Bob.
Donna: Eric!
Eric: What... What are you gonna do? Cut me off from sex again?
Kelso: I agree with Forman, Bob. I think you should keep her. I mean, you're you and you're getting me quality girls. You're living life Kelso style. Enjoy.
Quote from Bob
Pamela: Oh. I'm so sorry I'm late. I locked my keys in the car and I had to use the coat hanger to jimmy the lock. I had to reach down in there and I had to shimmy and shimmy and shimmy until the darn thing finally popped open.
Bob: Boy, I'm sorry I missed that.
Hyde: Yeah, could you act it out for us one more time?
Jackie: Look, Mom, Donna and I decided that you two can't see each other anymore. We're your children and we love you, but your happiness is much less important than ours.
Pamela: Jackie, when your dad went away to jail, I decided to do some work on myself. Not on the outside, obviously, because, well, come on, but on the inside, you know, the part that doesn't matter as much. And I realized that I need a man who makes me feel good about myself. I need you, Bob.
Bob: Oh. You know, if an ugly woman said that, it just wouldn't mean as much.
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: Man, if this was a movie, Pam would pick up Bob and just carry him off to a better life.
Eric: If this were a good movie, Pam would have ended the scene topless.
Kelso: Yeah, if this were a great movie, they'd have a monkey friend that did all this crazy stuff.
Quote from Eric
Donna: You know what? You guys were no help. You could have backed us up.
Eric: And you could be sleeping with me. People could be doing a lot of things.
Quote from Kelso
Kelso: All right, I'm done peeing. Hey, could you hand me my clothes?
Hyde: Kelso, are you naked?
Kelso: No. Eric, could you hand me my clothes, please?
Eric: I'm sorry, buddy, I can't hear you over the hot tub. Did you hear him, Hyde?
Hyde: I think so. I think he said to take his clothes and run away.
Eric: Oh. [both run away]
Kelso: Guys, guys, come back! Well, looks like I'm gonna have to be nude in front of you guys, and that's kind of awkward, so I think you ladies should nude up.
Quote from Red
Kitty: Hey. Good news, Red. I made your favorite lunch. Lasagna.
Red: Thanks.
Kitty: Thanks? Aren't you excited? [claps] Let's hear that monitor.
Red: So, every time you do something nice for me, I'm supposed to have a heart attack?
Kitty: Well, no. Not an attack, just a little episode. [laughs] I mean, what does it take to get that beeper going?
Pamela: [enters] Hi, Red. [Red's monitor beeps]
Red: Wow! That must be the lasagna kicking in.