Fez: Your new room is very pretty. Like a flower or a girl. You know, people might see this room and think you are the gay.
Hyde: I don't think so, Fez.
Fez: Oh, Hyde, you would be surprised how easily people can make that mistake.

Kelso: Hey, Hyde, thanks for your help with Jackie, man.
Hyde: Sure thing, man.
Kelso: Okay, Hyde, do you know what sarcasm is?
Hyde: No.
Kelso: Hyde, man, you almost got me caught.
Hyde: I almost got you caught? "My mom sewed my name in Eric's shirt"? You are so lame, man.
Kelso: Well, you know, half the time you act like you want me to get caught.
Hyde: Kelso, you're my friend. I don't want you to get caught. 'Cause if you get caught, then my fun is over. Right? So I'm just trying to prolong your suffering.
Kelso: Well, okay, that's a little better.
Hyde: All right. Friends for life, baby. Yeah.

Kitty: Well, Steven's getting all settled in.
Red: He'd better not change anything. I don't want him messing with my little girl's room. I mean, you know how he is. Messy, dirty, foul. What if she has to move back home?
Kitty: Oh, Red, she is gonna be fine.
Red: Oh, I know, Kitty, you think that she is all grown up, but there's still a lot that she doesn't know. I mean, what if her place doesn't have a deadbolt? Or a smoke detector?
Kitty: Red, you don't have to baby her. She's 20.
Red: You're never too old to burn to death in a fire.

[circle:]
Eric: Laurie's busted. This is, and I don't think I'm exaggerating here, the greatest day in the history of time.
Fez: Except maybe the day cheese was invented. I love the cheese.
Hyde: Wow, man, she's gone one day, and she's already got a new guy. Kelso, you heartbreaker, you.
Kelso: Yeah, I'm havin' a horrible day. Laurie's gone and Jackie's all suspicious of me. And I'm gettin' no lovin'. None. I can't be me without lovin'.
Hyde: Kelso... [sighs] If you want to keep Jackie, man, and trust me, you don't, you gotta act innocent, okay? Let's practice. So, did you fool around with Laurie?
Kelso: You know I did!
Hyde: Dumb-ass, no, man! Complete denial. Watergate. Learn. So, did you fool around with Laurie?
Kelso: Yeah. Wait, no. I mean, no! Wait, I mean, yeah. No, see, this isn't gonna work.

Jackie: Okay, you've been acting kind of weird ever since Laurie gave you that T-shirt, Michael.
Hyde: [imaginary] First off, act innocent.
Kelso: I don't know what you're talking about, Jackie.
Hyde: Of course, she'll explain herself.
Jackie: It's like you're hiding something.
Hyde: But you just stick to your original story.
Kelso: I'm sticking to my original story!
Hyde: Now, she'll be skeptical...
Jackie: Uh-huh...
Hyde: So go on the offensive.
Kelso: You know, Jackie, you're just being paranoid... And that hurts. Because you don't trust me, and other stuff.
Hyde: And then, she'll be so embarrassed, she'll cave and apologize to you.
Jackie: Fine. I believe you, Michael. But know this. If you're not telling the truth, I will find out, 'cause I'm smart, and you... aren't.
Hyde: Then all you have to do is forgive her.
Kelso: Okay, Jackie, I forgive you.

Red: Laurie, I've been, uh, thinking... About the thing that happened at the place you live. And, uh, I want you to know that I understand that you're not my little girl anymore.
Laurie: But I like being your little girl.
Red: But you're not. You're my daughter. And you're a grown-up who's going to do awful and stupid things. But I'll still love you.
Laurie: I love you, too. And I'm sorry. So, Daddy, can I move back in?
Red: Oh, yeah. Okay, good! [hugs Laurie] Yeah, great to have you back.
Kitty: So... Your man friend kicked you out, didn't he?
Laurie: No! He moved back in with his wife.
Kitty: Well, I just... I... I need a little yellow pill.

Kitty: So, um, Laurie's almost all packed.
Red: I can't believe my little girl is movin' out. [to Eric] Which reminds me, when are you leaving?
Eric: Never, 'cause I love it here. [laughs]
Red: Right. Kitty, do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, it might be a little soon for her to be on her own.
Kitty: Red, she is gonna be fine. She's gonna split rent with a girlfriend.
Red: She doesn't even have a job.
Kitty: Well, she is gonna get a job.
Eric: Oh, that reminds me. Can I have her room?
Red: No. I already gave it to Steven.
Eric: But I'm your son... Daddy.

Donna: So, Laurie's definitely moving out? And it's definitely over with her and Kelso?
Eric: Well, she is moving all the way across town. I mean, she is slutty, but... I mean, she hates to commute, so...
Donna: Good. Good, because Kelso's a rat bastard, and I'm not covering for him.
Eric: Donna, relax. It's over. So now you can get back to pleasing your man.

Red: Eric, I'm asking you, have I been a bad father? Maybe I've been too hard on her. I mean, for God's sake, I think I'm a fair man. Right? Eric, I'm talkin' to you.
Eric: Does this need more mayonnaise? [laughs]
Red: Get out of here!
Eric: Thank you.

Red: Boy, Kitty, we got a pair to beat a full house, that's for sure.
Kitty: Well, Red, relax. You're overreacting.
Red: I'm overreacting? Well, I'll tell you what, Kitty, people are gonna talk. Her livin' with that guy.
Kitty: Red, it doesn't matter if people talk. Laurie is still a part of this family, which is why I invited her to dinner tonight.
Red: Oh, no, no, no, Kitty. I'm not ready for that.
Kitty: Oh, that's sweet, the way you say that like you have a choice.
Red: Look, Kitty...
Kitty: She's coming.