Red: Kitty, I'm sorry. Next time, I'll be happy to... forget about the car and go to whatever figurine, quilting, macramé, man-killing thing you want to do.
Kitty: Actually, there's a knitting bee at the community center right now.
Red: You're kidding. [chuckles]
Kitty: And you know what they say about those knitters: They spin quite a yarn! [snorts, laughs]
Red: You know what would really teach me a lesson? Leaving me at home to, you know, think about what I've done.
Kitty: If you're not in that car in two seconds, I'll make you carry my knitting basket.
Red: Coming, dear.

Fez: Well, guys, uh, just so you're up to speed... [smacks lips] I knew about the kiss all along. Eric told me. He made me his secret squirrel.
Donna: What? That dill-hole said I was the only one he told.
Fez & Hyde: Me too!
Eric: [returns] It was hilarious. You guys should've seen it. Kelso's foot got stuck in a gopher hole, and- and- Hey, w-w-why are you guys all looking at me like that?
Fez: I was your secret squirrel, you son of a bitch.
Hyde: Get him.

Todd: Jackie, you clocked out half an hour ago. Did you come back to tell me something? Because I feel the same way.
Jackie: I was waiting outside for Michael to pick me up, but the idiot never showed.
Todd: That's the third time this week. Three strikes and he's out, according to the rules of baseball. And love.
Jackie: Actually, it's four strikes, if you count the time he showed up late 'cause he had to see how The Jetsons ended.
Todd: Man, first he goes behind your back and takes that modeling job and now this whole Jetsons thing? No futuristic cartoon could ever keep me from you.
Jackie: I just don't know what's happening to us.
Todd: Okay. Jackie, you need to cheer up. And the first step to cheering up is giving Todd a hug. [they kiss]
Eric: Oh, my God.
Jackie: Oh, my God.
Eric: I am so glad I went shopping today!

Eric: Okay, okay. I saw Jackie making out with the guy from the cheese shop. The little dude.
[montage:]
Donna: No way!
Eric: Yup. But you're the only one I told, so don't say a word to anyone. Okay, my little secret squirrel?
Fez: My lips are sealed.
Eric: Good. 'Cause I knew I could count on you.
Hyde: You always can. Think about it. We hold information that could crush the very heart and soul of one of our best friends. I live for days like this!
Eric: Oh, but just remember, you're the only one I told.
Donna, Fez & Hyde: Your secret's safe with me.

Kitty: Well, you missed a nice dinner. Joanne said the funniest thing. She said I was gonna end up a Corvette widow. [laughs] [Red laughs] Isn't that a kick?
Red: Oh, Kitty, I wouldn't leave you for the car. Who'd make dinner? [chuckles] Oh, no.
Kitty: I think it's the time to prove Joanne wrong. How are you gonna prove Joanne wrong? What surprising and thoughtful deed are you gonna do to prove Joanne wrong?
Red: I'm gonna prove Joanne wrong by taking you out... [Kitty nods] on a special date... [Kitty nods] soon. [Kitty looks away] Tomorrow.
Kitty: Good answer! [chuckles]

Eric: Oh, hey, guys. It's Kelso's loyal girlfriend,Jackie.
Donna, Fez & Hyde: Hi, Jackie!
Jackie: Okay, I'm not here to stay. I just came to get Michael.
Eric: Come on. Oh, no, stay. We're just gonna hang out and fool around. We all know how much you like to... fool around.
Jackie: Okay, Michael, come on. Let's go to The Hub.
Kelso: No, I want to stay here and fool around.

Jackie: Come on, Michael. Let's go.
Eric: No, let's stay. We could play Monopoly. Oh, but that wouldn't be much fun, since we all know that... Jackie cheats.
Jackie: I do not.
Kelso: Oh, you do cheat. We've all caught you.

Jackie: When I tell Michael what you did, he's gonna forget all about what I did.
Eric: Unless I get to him first.
Jackie: You wouldn't.
Eric: Well, to quote a certain manager-kissing cheese maiden I know, "I so would!" And go!

Jackie: Okay, Todd, like, I know we kissed and it was probably, like, the best kiss you'll ever have. But it didn't mean anything, and nothing's gonna come of it. So you're gonna have to get over me. Oh, you know what? And please don't fire me, because I really need this job. Okay? Great. See you tomorrow!

Eric: Look, Kelso, I am so sorry!
Kelso: Just get out of my way.
Jackie: Wait, Michael. [door slams]
Eric: Great. He hates me, right?
Jackie: No. He hates me. We didn't even talk about you. I mean, I told him about the kiss, and he just stormed off. I couldn't even tell him I'm sorry. [sobs]
Eric: Okay, well... I'm not going to feel sorry for you, so... Yeah. I mean, y-you can't make me.
Jackie: I just love him so much.
Eric: [groans] Oh, God.