‘Ice Shack’
Season 3, Episode 10 - Aired January 9, 2001
Kelso drags Eric and Donna to an ice shack where he plans to have a secret double date with Jackie. Meanwhile, Kitty is worried about Laurie's future, and Hyde gives Leo a ride home after his license is suspended.
Quote from Kelso
Jackie: Michael, this is it! This is the sign I was looking for! God doesn't want us to be together!
Kelso: Who cares? I'm losing my van!
Jackie: See? That was always the problem with us, Michael. It was always about you.
Kelso: Jackie, are you losing your van?
Jackie: No!
Kelso: Then shut up!
Quote from Fez
Jackie: Fez, I'm cold.
Fez: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a rat's ass.
Quote from Kelso
Jackie: You brought me to an outhouse?
Eric: Actually, Jackie... [bangs on can] That's the outhouse.
Kelso: No. No, it's an ice shack, for fishing. This is gonna be a blast. I mean, it is so beautiful out here. Plus, I brought lotion.
Quote from Kelso
Donna: Ooh, it's kinda cold.
Eric: Here, take my jacket.
Donna: I love you.
Eric: God, we are such the... perfect couple.
Jackie: I'm cold too.
Kelso: Well, damn, Jackie. I can't control the weather!
Fez: Here, Jackie, take my coat.
Jackie: Oh, thanks, Fez. [glares at Kelso]
Quote from Red
Kitty: Red, that girl does nothing but party all night and sleep all day. She's gonna end up like Aunt Martha. Remember the beer gut on her?
Red: She's not gonna end up like Fat Martha.
Kitty: Poor woman got so large she couldn't play putt-putt.
Red: Geez, don't remind me. That par two was the longest three hours of my life.
Kitty: Red, your daughter is drifting. So what are you gonna do?
Red: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna start eating my lunch at the office.
Quote from Eric
Fez: I mean, Eric would never take Donna to a place like this.
Donna: Fez, it wouldn't matter where we were. Just being together makes it fun.
Eric: Aw. But I would never bring you to a place like this because I know that you don't like such small, smelly places.
Donna: You know me so well.
Eric: Eskimo kiss.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Well, the score is horribly close.
Jackie: I'm very impressed, Michael.
Kelso: Yeah, well, I guess you just remember things about those you care about.
Fez: Oh, please. I'm gonna puke. Let's get this nightmare over with.
Quote from Kitty
Red: Hi, honey. How was- Oh, not over yet.
Kitty: No, it's not, Red. Go make Laurie do something with her life. [Red chuckles] I mean it. Now!
Red: Oh. You know, when a guy comes home from work he just wants to sit down and have a nice quiet beer.
Kitty: Well, she drank your beer because she doesn't have a future.
Red: Fine, Kitty. I'm going!
Quote from Jackie
Kelso: Jackie, I-
Jackie: Don't speak, Michael. I am very close to letting myself experience strong feelings of not hating you. I just need a sign.
Kelso: I brought the lotion.
Jackie: No. Okay. I want you to guess a number between one and ten.
Kelso: Seven.
Jackie: Guess again.
Kelso: Three.
Jackie: Close enough. Let's go.
Fez: Jackie, if you go out that door with him whatever we might have had between us is over forever. [Jackie and Kelso leave]
Quote from Laurie
Laurie: Look! The reason I haven't done anything with my life is because I didn't know what I wanted to do.
Kitty: Well, the post office has a dental plan that's supposed-
Laurie: Shh! But, Daddy, you forced me to sit down and think about it. And now, I have found my passion! Hair!
Kitty: The musical?
Laurie: No! Hair! I'm going to beauty school!
Kitty: This isn't something you do through the mail, is it?
Laurie: No, it's a real school.
Kitty: Oh, well, yay! [chuckles]
Red: Congratulations, sweetheart. [Laurie exits] So, Kitty, what do you think?
Kitty: Eh.
Red: Yeah.