Donna: Isn't this amazing?
Eric: Is it called Mount Hump because people come here to hump? Or do people come here to hump because it's called Mount Hump? Like the chicken or the egg.
Donna: Well, I have a really good feeling about this place.
Eric: Donna, there are panties in the grass.
Donna: Well, Fez collects panties. So we could just set him loose up here before the ceremony. It's so quiet and peaceful. Can't hear anything.
Eric: Actually, I hear a car. [crashing sound] Oh, man! Some poor sucker just totally got into an accident.

Kitty: Oh, look. Here you are with all your friends.
Red: Kitty.
Kitty: No, no, no. You claim to have all these friends. Here are last year's Christmas cards. Fifty-six are for me, four for you.
Red: Kitty, the card from the Jose Cuervo collector's club doesn't count.
Kitty: Fine, I can afford to throw this one away because I have 55 more, but I will keep this because it has a coupon in it.

Red: Anyway, it doesn't matter because I'm keeping the shoes. A good shoe is a good shoe, no matter where it comes from. Oh, it's like I'm walking on a pile of baby ducks.
Kitty: Well, hello there, Senor Fancy Sheets. I love the way Jackie decorated your room. It's all glittery like... Like an Italian person lives there.
Red: You let your girlfriend decorate your room? She also buy you a new dress?
Hyde: Yeah, I guess I have a lot to answer for. Then again, I never accepted a pair of shoes from another man.
Red: I knew it was a weird gift. Kitty said it wasn't.
Kitty: They're nice. Steven, tell him they're nice.
Hyde: No, I can't do it. Although, you know what? Maybe she's right. Maybe you should keep the shoes and get Bob a present in return. Like a necklace. Or some sexy lingerie.

[circle:]
Eric: Man, poor Kelso's van. I mean, when it finally landed, it didn't so much crash as completely separate into its basic elements and just return to nature.
Donna: It was so sad. There were Tootsie Rolls everywhere.
Hyde: Guys, took a nap in my room. My goose-down duvet is like a cocoon. I lay down a caterpillar and woke up a butterfly.
Fez: Maybe you with your room and Red with his shoes should get a room and decorate it with Red's shoes. Ha, burn!
Hyde: Man, you just don't understand what it's like to have a bed that hugs you like you're a little baby. It's like crawling into a mommy kangaroo. I miss my kangaroo. [walks off]
Fez: Remember when I said that he should decorate his room with Red's shoes? Ha, burn! [Hyde screams] Hyde's in trouble.
[circle ends]
Hyde: She took it all down.
Eric: Did you just scream like a girl?
Hyde: No. What happened to my lavender-scented candle?
Eric: Did you just say "What happened to my lavender-scented candle?"
Hyde: No.

Eric: Oh, Kelso, you're here. Um... Hey, can I borrow your van for a little experiment?
Kelso: No.
Eric: Oh, I thought you were gonna say yes.
Kelso: Oh, my God. Is that my steering wheel?
Eric: It's the biggest piece I could find. Listen, Kelso, I am so sorry. I... I took the van to Mount Hump, and I forgot to set the parking brake and I'm just really sorry.
Kelso: The horn doesn't honk any more.
Eric: Look, you know, at first it seemed okay because you melted my G.I. Joe, but I mean it's not as bad as destroying a van. So I don't... I don't know why I just said that.

Kitty: Red Forman, don't you dare throw those shoes away.
Red: I just can't keep them, Kitty. Every time I wear them, I'll feel Bob touching my feet.
Bob: Are you throwing away my shoes?
Kitty: No, no. No, no. He's not throwing away your shoes. He is getting rid of that pesky new shoe smell by rubbing old food on them.

Hyde: Jackie, what the hell? Why did you take everything down?
Jackie: You said, "Take everything down."
Hyde: Well, you didn't have to.
Jackie: You said, "You have to."
Hyde: I didn't mean it.
Jackie: You said, "I mean it."
Hyde: Look, just put it all back.
Jackie: Not until you admit you loved it.
Hyde: Jackie, who cares who's right or wrong here? Isn't the important thing that you make me happy?
Jackie: Who are you talking to? Do you even know me?
Hyde: Fine, I loved it.
Jackie: And?
Hyde: The twinkle lights were breathtaking.
Jackie: And?
Hyde: The scented candles made me feel like Laura Ingalls.

Donna: All right, that's it. We need to find another place to get married. I just wrote out, "You are cordially invited to Mount Hump." And I died a little inside.
Eric: Well, then, I guess we should also rule out the scenic banks of Nipple Creek.

Jackie: Why are you guys all in Steven's room?
Fez: Well, Hyde was here, so I came in because I'm not comfortable enough with myself to be alone.
Jackie: Yeah, but it's all gray like a prison cell. Gray is why prisoners are unhappy.
Hyde: Really? I always thought it was the loss of freedom and the uninvited man-love.
Jackie: Steven, I just think that you would be happier if you saw pretty things. Like, when I look at myself in the mirror, I'm happy.
Fez: When I look at you, I'm happy, too. But when you talk... Eh...

Kelso: That's weird. My finger's due back tomorrow, but my hand's due back next week.
Brooke: You know, Michael, I was a little worried about starting to date you, but lately you've really impressed me.
Kelso: Well, that's the police motto, "To Serve and Impress."
Brooke: I thought it was "Serve and Protect."
Kelso: Yeah, they just changed it.
Brooke: Maybe you could take me to my doctor's appointment tomorrow. We'll hear the baby's heartbeat.
Kelso: Seriously? You want me to do baby stuff with you?
Brooke: Yeah. You've been really great these last few weeks.
Kelso: Yes, I have.
Brooke: And there's no telling what you'll do next. One day, you might even read one of these things.
Kelso: Yeah, let's just pray to God that day never comes.