Kitty: Okay, now, you two. I want this party to look nice. So, um, balloons, streamers... whatever makes Steven forget he has no parents.
Jackie: So, Fez, how do you want to decorate this place?
Fez: Well, what I'm thinking-
Jackie: No, no, no. I want Arabian Nights: veils, Persian rugs.
Fez: Uh-huh. One question, Jackie. Is this a party for Hyde, or a bunch of whores in a whorehouse?

Kelso: The base of the sign's all cracked. So all we have to do is shove this firecracker in there, and blammo! The sign comes down.
Eric: Wow, it could actually work if the base were made of pudding!
Kelso: If the base were made of pudding, Eric, we could just pull the sign right out.

Donna: All right, look. If we got Red's tools, I bet I could cut down that pole. Casey showed me how to saw through rebar. Our second date.
Eric: Wow. I love those stories.
Kelso: Hey, I'll just sneak into your garage, grab the tools. Red'll never know.
Eric: Okay, but you gotta be really quiet.
Kelso: Come on. It's me we're talking about. I'm like a cat. [firecracker explodes in Kelso's pocket]

Jackie: Hyde, we need you to settle an argument. I'm sure you know by now that we're throwing you a party.
Hyde: What party?
Fez: Okay, I'm sure you know by now that we're throwing you a party. So, what kind of theme would you like?
Hyde: Throw whatever party you want, man. I'm not gonna be there. [exits]
Jackie: Well, if that's his attitude, I don't wanna do anything. I quit.
Fez: You can't quit on me. I quit on you... you bossy little midget.
[As Jackie tries to slap Fez's face, he intercepts her hand]
Fez: Don't even.

Kelso: No! No! Excuse me, little boy with glasses. That's our sign.
Boy: Um, excuse me, big dork with Farrah hair. No, it isn't.
Kelso: "Farrah hair"? If I look like any of the Charlie's Angels, it's Jaclyn Smith!
Donna: Wow, that's true.

Eric: That was hot. Man, why is she so hot today?
Kelso: 'Cause you can't have her, 'cause you lost her, 'cause you're stupid.
Eric: Wait. Um, Jackie cheated on you, right, with a little, tiny cheese guy?
Kelso: Hey, truce, okay?
Eric: Yeah, I think that's best.
Kelso: Yeah. Hey, if you hadn't blown it with Donna, you'd probably be doing it with her right now. [chuckles]
Eric: Yeah. You know who's probably doing it? Jackie, with the cheese guy.
Kelso: We had a truce!

Kitty: Now, I made this for you. See? It says "Steven" on the front because I heard that having your name on your clothes is cool. [chuckles] Plus, if anybody finds it, they can return it to you.
Hyde: So, I won't be able to lose it. Great. [Kitty laughs]
Red: Put it on.
Hyde: Do I have to?
Red: You bet your ass. [Steven puts the jumper on] Welcome to manhood. [chuckles]

Kitty: Oh, Steven got a letter from Department of Motor Vehicles.
Red: What? Another damn ticket? Hey, screw-head! Why is the D.M.V. sending you letters?
Hyde: [chuckles] Screw-head. Hey, screw-head.
Eric: No, no, no. You're screw-head. I'm just called "boy."
Hyde: I got a letter from the D.M.V.?
Eric: Oh, my God. It's about the cow. Did I say "cow"? Because what I meant was cow...ntdown - countdown to better driving.
Hyde: I think what Eric's trying to say is, he hit a cow.
Eric: Wait- Well, I had the right-of-way!

Red: Go ahead. Open it, hot rod. You know, you are the most irresponsible careless, no-account, undisc-
Hyde: Oh, it's a license renewal for my 18th birthday.
Red: Oh. Happy birthday. [chuckles]

Kitty: Guess who gets 18 hugs the day before his 18th birthday? [laughs] One, two- Everyone!
All: Three, four, five-
Hyde: Okay.
All: ...six, seven, eight-
Hyde: Okay. All right, all right! Thanks, Mrs. Forman, but you can drop it. I'm not really into birthdays, especially this one.
Kelso: Oh, no, you don't! [hugs Hyde] Nine, ten-
Hyde: Get off me, spaz.