‘Hyde Gets the Girl’
Season 4, Episode 4 - Aired October 9, 2001
Fez decides to throw a party to help Hyde meet someone. Meanwhile, Kelso enters a contest to win a van and faces competition from a frequent winner, Daniel (French Stewart).
Quote from Fez
Hyde: You set this up?
Fez: Yeah. We all thought you needed help finding a quality woman.
Hyde: What? Man, you sit around and talk about me? Is that what's going on? Look, I don't want your help.
Fez: I give and I do, and I do and I give. And for what? For nothing. Well, I'm done. Go.
Hyde: But, Fez-
Fez: I said, go.
Quote from Eric
Katie: When I looked across the room, I saw a guy who was wounded. A guy who sits in the dark waiting for the light to find him again.
[Eric notices Donna looking at him and Katie]
Eric: If only I could find this light you speak of then maybe - just maybe - my pain might go away.
Katie: [sighs] Would it help if I held you?
Eric: I doubt it. But let's try, Katie. [they hug] Yeah. Lower.
Quote from Jackie
Donna: I am so disgusted.
Jackie: Oh, I know. There are way too many girls at this party. I can't even smell my own perfume.
Donna: Well, you're the only one. You know, you may not even be the prettiest girl here.
Jackie: You shut your hole. [inner monologue] I am pretty! Unsure. Must. Find. Michael!
Quote from Kelso
Jackie: Michael, am I pretty?
Kelso: Oh, come on, cupcake. You are the prettiest girl in Point Place. [Jackie giggles] No. You know what? In Wisconsin.
Daniel: Nice one, Pinocchio.
Jackie: Am I prettier than Pam Macy?
Kelso: [scoffs] Of course.
Jackie: Am I prettier than Farrah Fawcett?
Kelso: [stammers] Oh, all right. Come on. She's like a perfect 10. And you are an 11 .
Jackie: Am I prettier than-
Daniel: Oh, my God!
Quote from Kelso
Jackie: Am I prettier than the girl with the feathered hair at the supermarket?
Kelso: Okay, okay, the blonde-haired one or the brown-haired one?
Jackie: Well, does it matter?
Kelso: No, 'cause you smoke 'em both, baby!
Jackie: [giggles] Am I prettier than-
Daniel: Oh, my God! I can't take it anymore! [mockingly] "Am I pretty?" "Am I pretty?" "Am I pretty?" [covers Jackie's mouth with his hand] Shut up!
Max: And we finally have a winner.
Kelso: [laughs] I did it! Oh, my God. I won! Who's the best? I'm the best! Loser!
Daniel: I'm not a loser, okay? I win everything. I don't lose. I win! Because I'm a winner! [whines] I'm a winner!
Quote from Kelso
Max: So, Michael Kelso, tell Wisconsin how it feels to be WFPP's new Hand 2 Van winner!
Kelso: Well, I guess I have to say it like this, Max. If this van's a-rockin' we're in there doin' it!
Jackie: Michael!
Kelso: Oh. Um, I'm sorry. I'm doing it with Jackie Burkhart!
Quote from Eric
Eric: You know what? I wish for once Hyde would fall in love, you know? So we could make fun of him. We'd be all, "Hey, everyone"- [mouths words] "Hyde's in love." [chortles] Burn.
Quote from Jackie
Jackie: Hey, this party is a great idea. I am gonna find the perfect match for Steven. After all, my nickname is "The Queen of Romance."
Donna: No one calls you that.
Quote from Bob
Daniel: Hey, check out the redhead.
Bob: That redhead is my baby girl Donna. I'm her dad.
Daniel: I want Donna to call me "Daddy."
Bob: That's it!
Max: Ah! Bob. You took your hand off the van. You lose.
Bob: This isn't over.
Daniel: It is for you. [quietly] Get outta here.
Quote from Kelso
Daniel: And so begins the battle of wits.
Kelso: Oh, man. I've never been good at wits.
Daniel: Really?