Red: I'm the richest man in church! Fellas, these dice like me.
Kelso: Whoa! Oh, yeah! B-l-N-G-O! And that spells losers. Losers.
Kitty: Damn it!

Kitty: Hey, Diamond Jim, come here. How's the abandoned raffle going?
Red: Kitty, I'm on fire. I just rolled four hard eights in a row! God is bending the laws of probability just for me.

Eric: Hey, Mom, I got some bad, bad news for you. For every one doughnut I get, Donna gets 11. Storm's a-brewin'.

Pastor Dave: You kids buy a raffle ticket? Third prize is a rock and roll record. John Denver's Greatest Hits. He fills up your senses.

Kitty: Okay, you know what? Just stop. I'm not mad at you.
Red: You're not?
Kitty: No. On my way home, while dreaming about being married to someone else and having his children I, um... I realized that this is all my fault.
Eric: All right!
Red: Hold on. This may be a trap.
Kitty: No. I shouldn't have forced you to come with me when what I really wanted was just- just to do something for myself.
Red: Look, Kitty, I'm sorry. And if there's anything that you wanna do from now on you should go and do it if it makes you happy. And we'll support you by not going with you. Would that be good?
Kitty: Yes. Thank you, Red.

Donna: She was scary. Really scary. Okay, Exorcist scary.
Jackie: Fez, you have to break up with her.
Fez: Okay, you two are overreacting. She is a little loony, but she wouldn't hurt you.

Fez: Hello, my sweet girlfriend.
[As Caroline kisses Fez's head, Donna and Jackie place their hands on Fez's thighs. Caroline grabs their hands]
Caroline: We've been over this!
Fez: Caroline!
Caroline: Touch Fez and die!
Fez: Stop it! These are my friends!
Caroline: Oh, really? Did they shoplift 30 dollars' worth of indelible ink markers and write your name on every inch of their room? [stamps foot] Every inch! Did they?
Fez: Um, did you guys do that?
Donna & Jackie: No.
Fez: Well, there you have it.

Fez: Um, Caroline, I have to break up with you.
Caroline: Why? And don't say it's because I'm crazy. Because I'm not crazy.
Fez: Oh, no. Oh- Oh, no. Of cour- Of course not. It's just, um- It's just, um... Donna and I are in love.
Caroline: What?
Donna: Oh, my God.
Jackie: Ewww!
Fez: Yes, we are freaky for each other. Please tell her. Please.
Donna: [quietly] What if she tries to kill me?
Fez: You're a giant. You can take her.
[Donna gives Fez a passionate kiss]
Caroline: Oh, my God. You're really breaking up with me?
Fez: Is that okay?
Caroline: Fez, I just want to say that you will never be as happy as you were with me! Ever. And until you realize that, I'll be seeing you. And by "I'll be seeing you," I mean that I'll be watching you. But you won't know it. Except I just told you, so you do know it. Anyway, this isn't over! [exits]
Fez: Whew. Sure am glad that's over.