Hyde: Hey, man. Long time no see. When my dad left, my mom signed me up for the Big Brother program, and I got Roy. We had some good times before you left town.
Roy: Yeah, and moved in with a wonderful woman.
Hyde: Oh. What happened?
Roy: She found out I was living there.
Hyde: Roy has some problems with people.
Roy: They don't like me. Yeah. You don't like me, right?
Jackie: Not really. But to be fair, I have very high standards.
Roy: Yeah? She's really nice, Steven.
Hyde: Hey, so what are you doing here?
Roy: I work here. Hotel kitchen manager. I was gonna put out word that we were looking for a cook but then I figured, why bother? They'll just leave me like everybody else.
Jackie: So, Roy, seem a little depressed there.
Roy: Yeah, I'm teetering on the brink.
Hyde: Maybe I can do something to cheer you up.
Roy: Really? Oh, that'd be great.

Eric: Hey, Dad. Guess what. I got a job at First Midwestern, so Donna and I can stay engaged. I'll work, she'll study. In a few years, I can pay for my own tuition. Yay! I win! [blows raspberry]

Kelso: The important thing is, is that I'll be performing a very valuable community service. And plus, I'll be sexy forever. I mean, just think about it.
[fantasy:]
Robber: Nobody move! This is a robbery.
Kelso: [enters] Not in my town, dirtbag.
Woman: Oh, Officer, not only did you perform a valuable community service you'll be sexy forever!
Kelso: All in a day's work, ma'am. Let's get you into something a little more comfortable.
Woman: But I'm already in a bikini.
Kelso: I know. [they kiss]
[reality:]
Eric: Kelso, you do realize you'll have to help ugly people too.
Kelso: Nah-uh. I'll just leave that for the fat cops.

Kitty: Eric, if you take a bank job and put off school, you'll never go to college, and the bank manager agreed with me. Plus, I told him you were bad at math.
Eric: So, there's no job money to pay for college, no money from you guys to go to college. Wow. I guess we're really hoping for that football scholarship, huh?
Kitty: I have a compromise. Your father and I will pay for college if you and Donna will agree to just put off your engagement for one year.
Red: I'm not compromising anything! He said some hurtful things.
Eric: No. I'm sick of being controlled by both of you guys. You guys can keep your money, okay? 'cause guess what! I don't want it.

Kelso: [shines flashlight] Ma'am! Sir! We got a call about a domestic disturbance.
Red: Get out of here.
Kelso: Okay, but if I gotta come back out here, somebody's going downtown. [Red stands up] Well, quit it. I'm just practicing.

Roy: A-And this is the pantry. If you ever get really depressed, it's a good place to go and cry. Also, it's where we keep the mustard.
Hyde: All right. Cool. Well, uh, I guess I'll see you on Monday.
Roy: Okay. [hugs Hyde]
Hyde: Okay, man. Okay, Roy. Get off me.
Roy: Oh, I almost forgot to show you the walk-in freezer.
[When Roy opens the freezer, Fez and Nina are kissing]
Fez: A little privacy, please! [closes door]