Bea: Oh, those cookies look good.
Kitty: Well, thanks. Sorry I made a scene.
Bea: Oh, you were just tired.
Kitty: No, I wasn't just tired. Mom, I'm having a really hard time here. Did it hit you this hard too?
Bea: Did what, dear?
Kitty: Menopause.
Bea: [chuckles] I never had it.
Kitty: Mom, everybody has it.
Bea: Well, I've always been quite health conscious. I told you to eat more vegetables.
Kitty: You cannot expect me to believe that you never went through menopause.
Bea: Well, I didn't.
Kitty: Yes, you did!
Bea: Well, it doesn't matter, because it's not nice to talk about.
Kitty: Well, not everything that needs to be talked about has to be nice. Mom, why don't you ever really talk to me?
Bea: I told you I liked your cookies! I'm gonna find your father. [shouts] Burt!

Burt: Is she gone?
Kitty: You know, that woman is crazy.
Burt: Your mother just doesn't know how to talk to people. If she yells at you, she really means that she's sorry you're upset. And if she breaks all your golf clubs, she means "Happy anniversary."
Kitty: Oh, Daddy, I love you.
Burt: I love you, punkin, and so does your mother.
Bea: [o.s.] [shouts] Burt.
Burt: You never saw me.

Hyde: Kelso, look, man, we need to settle this.
Kelso: No, I don't wanna settle this! I don't wanna talk about it. All I wanna do is pound you so you can feel as bad as I do.
Hyde: Fine. Fair enough. Go ahead and hit me. Free shot.
Kelso: You gonna hit me back?
Hyde: No, man. That's why they call it a free shot.
Kelso: Oh. Okay. Get ready. Here it comes. It's coming. Get ready.
Fez: We're ready. Do it, fool!
Kelso: You know what? Forget it. It's not gonna change anything. I just... Forget it.

Red: Hey. How you doing?
Kitty: Oh, great. It's so nice to no longer be a woman.
Red: Kitty, that's not true. You know, I've been trying to think what I could do to- to make you feel better, and I finally came up with something. I sent your parents home early.
Kitty: That kinda helps. I just- I really wanted to be pregnant.
Red: You know what the real kicker is? This morning, when we thought you were still pregnant I sold my Corvette.
Kitty: [laughs] [hugs Red]

Donna: Hey, Eric, can you hand me a cookie?
Eric: No, I can't reach while I'm driving.
Donna: Come on. Please? Just one cookie.
Eric: Just wait till I stop.
Donna: [shouts like Bea] Cookie!
Bea: You know, Donna, you catch more flies with sugar. Right, Burt?
Burt: [pretends to snore]

Eric: Donna, we have to stabilize him. We're gonna need pudding, and lots of it.

Kelso: Who chooses a chick over a friend?
Eric: What? Kelso, come on. Remember when you made me walk home in a blizzard 'cause you wanted 10 extra minutes to make out with Pam Macy?
Kelso: No, but I didn't steal Pam Macy from you. And you could've played in the snow until we were done.

Kelso: Uh, what am I supposed to do? I mean, he broke the code! He's wrong!
Donna: You know what? You're right.
Kelso: He's, like, my oldest friend, and he stabbed me in the back.
Donna: [gives Kelso pudding] So, Kelso, how many things around here have you put your butt on?
Kelso: Let's start with what I haven't put my butt on.

Kelso: I can't believe that you knew Jackie and Hyde were together and you didn't tell me.
Eric: We... barely knew.
Donna: Yeah, we knew, but we were in denial because it's so unnatural.
Eric: Like radioactive spiders.
Kelso: Well, that's true.

Eric: So, what are you gonna say?
Kelso: Oh, it'll come to me in the moment.
Donna: Don't you think you should plan it out a little?
Kelso: Does an astronaut plan out his missions?
Fez: What happens in cat and mouse if the cat is retarded?
Kelso: Oh, you just wait and see.