Jackie: Donna, this is gonna be your first birthday since breaking up with Eric. You know what that means, no crappy gifts to return to the science-fiction store.
Donna: Yeah, I mean, I guess it'll be kind of a relief not to have to give him his birthday spanking.
Randy: He made you spank him on your birthday?
Donna: Yeah, and then he danced around in his underwear going, "Happy birthday to me!"

Marsha: Sorry to keep you from work.
Fez: Oh, don't worry, I already called in and said I was having sex.
Marsha: Oh. Hello.
Hyde: Oh, my God. Fez just banged an old... ...smobile in the driveway with his bike.

Hyde: Nice job, Fez. Combine two of your favorite pastimes. Sex and antiquing.
Donna: You know, for years older men have dated younger women. And now it's finally okay for a younger man to date an older woman. I guess what I'm trying to say is, gross!
Fez: Say what you want, but Mrs. Sullivan is so much more passionate than girls your age. You kids just lie there. Mrs. Sullivan, she moves, she shakes, she makes noises.
Hyde: Are you sure she wasn't having a stroke?

[circle:]
Randy: Hey, so I was thinking we could all go in together on a birthday present for Donna? But I don't know what to get her. Oh, cool, there's an echo inside my head! Hello! Balls! [chuckles] Awesome!
Jackie: You know, we could give Donna make-up, but that would be a waste. Might as well just give a dog a snow blower.
Hyde: Oh, Kelso did that once. Oh, no, wait. He gave his snow blower a dog. That was when he was in his "machines should have pets" phase.
Randy: Bongos! Ecuador! Is there anybody in there? Oh, my God. The echo just said yes. You know what? I think I've had enough.
Jackie: You know, once I caught Donna using lip liner on her eyebrows. Seriously, it's like being best friends with Phyllis Diller.
Hyde: How about I get something and we can all give it to Donna together? Together. Man, I'm not getting the echo. Hello? There it is.

Kitty: Oh, oh, oh. My friend Marsha Sullivan is here.
Red: Your friend? I thought you hated her.
Kitty: I do! [chuckles] But she has the juiciest gossip because she is a filthy, disgusting, piece of... [Marsha enters] Marsha!

Kitty: So, Marsha. Tell me what is going on in that adventurous life of yours?
Marsha: Well, actually, Kitty, I have a wonderful new boyfriend. He's delicious, and quite young.
Kitty: Young? How young? Forty?
Marsha: Younger.
Kitty: Thirty-nine?
Marsha: Younger.
Kitty: Well, for heaven's sake, Marsha, what's younger then 39?
Marsha: Kitty, I'm not gonna tell you. I don't want to shock you. Nineteen.
Kitty: Well, I just don't believe this. I have a son who is 19.
Marsha: Oh, that's right. I forgot about Eric. Where is that handsome son of yours these days?
Kitty: Oh. Don't you even think about it. He is in Africa, with the lions, where he's safe.
Marsha: Well, he's gotta come back sometime.
Kitty: Touch him and I'll kill you in your sleep.

Fez: Oh. Well, another day, another romp with Mrs. Sullivan. Actually, it was three romps, but who's counting? It was four.

Fez: You know, I always forget how big Donna's room is. It looks much smaller from the tree across the street.

Fez: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a sinfully sweet confection and she is carrying a cake, too.
Kitty: Oh, my goodness, stop it. [laughs]

Kitty: What in the world?
Hyde: Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, Fez is dating an older lady. Apparently, you taking him to all those PTA meetings really paid off.
Kitty: Fez is your younger man? My Fez?
Marsha: Isn't he gorgeous? I think I'll keep him for a couple of months.
Fez: Did you hear that? I'm booked till March.
Kitty: Fez, you can't date her.
Fez: Why not?
Kitty: Well, in the first place, she's so... old.
Randy: Isn't she kind of the same age as Mrs. Forman?
Red: Yeah, say that louder, that'll really help.
Kitty: How dare you dig your dirty claws into this innocent boy?
Fez: Wow, it's almost like she was right in the room with us.
Kitty: Fez, this is an atrocity. You two have to stop seeing each other right now.
Fez: You can't tell me what to do, you're not my mother.
Kitty: You know what? Fine! Then you just... You do whatever the hell you want!