Eric: Well, thanks, you guys... but my parents will kill me.
Jackie: No, Eric. We'll cover for you.
Hyde: Yeah. Believe me. I got no problem foolin' whitey.
Eric: Hyde, you're white.
Hyde: [scoffs] Barely.

Donna: I was wondering if you and Annette could maybe discuss your plans to do it or not do it when I'm not around.
Kelso: But you're never not around. You're always here. You're like a carbuncle.
Donna: Kelso, you don't even know what a carbuncle is.
Kelso: Well, I know it's gross, and it doesn't go away.
Donna: Okay. I'm sorry. It's just... I don't know anybody else. California people are freaks. Like that guy. You can't smoke that out here!

Donna: Look. You have the van, and we want to go home.
Kelso: No. Uh-uh. I can't leave Annette. I love her.
Eric: You don't love her.
Kelso: I love parts of her. I mean, unlike Jackie, she believes in me. Okay. I told Annette I wanted to be an astronaut and she said that she thought I could.
Donna: To be fair, she wants to be a lady astronaut.
Kelso: I mean, come on, guys. Just give me a few hours. Okay? If- Look. This girl is beautiful, and she believes in me. And if I can get her to put out, she'll be three out of three. Right now, she's only two out of three. And I'm sorry, but 50% just ain't gonna cut it.

Donna: I was so scared that I'd never feel like this with you again. I mean... Eric, after last year-
Eric: Donna.
Donna: I-
Eric: About Casey and all that stuff? I don't care. Okay? I just want to be with you.
Donna: You know, all summer I hated California. But now that you're here, it's, like, amazing. This is the most romantic night of my whole life.
Eric: Yeah, I know. Me too. I have sand in my crack.
Donna: Yeah, me too. Oh. Eric, I want to go home.

Kelso: Hyde, you got a beard! You look so old.
Hyde: Of course I look old, man. I party more than you. I work more, drank more, and slept with way more chicks. I'm exhausted, man.

Kitty: [answers phone] Hello? Donna, it's you. How's California? Have you run into Johnny Carson yet? No. I read he won't eat corn. What? Oh, Eric. Oh. No. No. I know he wants to talk to you. He hasn't heard from you all summer. I'll get him. [runs off with the phone] Eric! Ow! Eric. Eric, are you in the bathroom?
Eric: [o.s.] Yes.
Kitty: Well, get off, because-
Eric: Mom? Mom. When this door is closed, it's my sacred alone time. Okay? Think of it as church.
Kitty: But, I-
Eric: Mom.
Kitty: Fine. Gets up at noon, sits on the toilet until dinner- What kind of summer is that?

Eric: Jackie, I'm charismatic in person. I've got these awesome hand gestures. And, uh, I kind of, like, waggle my eyebrows when I talk.
Fez: Wait. You do that on purpose?
Eric: Thanks, you guys.

Donna: Hey, Kelso. You know what might help me? If you could tell me how you got over Jackie. You remember Jackie, don't you?
Annette: Who's Jackie?
Kelso: Uh... Jackie was my dog. She died in a Big Wheel accident.
Donna: No, Annette. I meant Jackie, his ex-girlfriend.
Kelso: Uh, also dead.
Donna: She's not dead.
Annette: What's going on here? Why are you lying to me?
Kelso: No, no. I'm not lying, Jackie- Annette. Look, baby. [Annette pushes Kelso away]
Donna: Well, my work here is done.

Kelso: Look, Annette. You're way more important to me than Jackie ever was. I mean, you're blonde. You're beautiful. You practically never wear a whole shirt.
Annette: I'm sorry. It's just the thought of you with somebody else got me really upset. I'm really upset.
Kelso: Which is why I propose that we do something special and romantic. Let's do it.
Annette: Michael, I don't do that. I'm a virgin.
Kelso: What? A coincidence. Me too. So let's do it. First-timers, yeah.

Donna: I- I can't believe you came here for me.
Eric: Of course I did. Donna, I love you. And I have so much to say, but I- [they kiss]
Donna: You guys can French all you want. I totally won.