Hyde: [clears throat] Oh, hey, Kelso, uh Pam Macy called and she said she had a really great time making out with you last night.
Jackie: Michael!
Kelso: No! No! We did not!
Hyde: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Eric: No fair, man.
Hyde: Shut up! My day's almost over! Now, hurry up and fight!

Jackie: Steven, why are you trying to make us fight?
Hyde: 'Cause I've got today in the pool. Come on, Jackie, hit him!
Jackie: Oh, my God. I get it. The pool wasn't about Steven's toenails. These idiots bet on when you and I would fight.
Hyde: Kelso! Are you gonna take that, man? She called your friends idiots. You better start kickin' some ass!
Kelso: No, wait. The pool was about us? Damn! I wish I had a piece of that!
Jackie: You would wager against our love?
Kelso: Well, damn, Jackie! In a lifetime, how often do you have a run at a sure thing? [Jackie punches Kelso's arm]
Hyde: Game over! [laughs]

Kitty: All right, hand over my preserves. They were in our garage, and now they're not.
Midge: Oh, that's terrible, Kitty. Why don't you sit down and relax with some toast and homemade jam?
Kitty: Jam?
Midge: Yeah. We found it in our garage.
Red: It's our garage!
Kitty: And that's my jam! [scrapes the jam back into the jar] Bon appétit.

Donna: No one answered the phone at Eric's house. What could he be doing? Where could he go with no pants?
Fez: Donna, when we're in public, you are with me. Eric is dead to you.

Caroline: Excuse me. Pardon me. Move it!
Fez: Oh, boy. Here comes trouble. Caroline. [chuckles] I was just offering my girlfriend Donna a sip from my straw. We don't care about germs, because she has had her tongue in my mouth. [Donna drinks]
Caroline: You know what I think? I think this is all an act. I don't think you're really dating.
Fez: Oh, yeah? Well- Well, maybe... maybe this will convince you. [whispers] Come on, Donna. Put some leg into it.
Caroline: Give me a break. If you were really together, you'd have at least gotten to second base by now.
Fez: You know, when you are right, you are right.
Donna: All right, all right. Enough. Caroline, Fez doesn't like you.
Caroline: Is that true, Fez?
Fez: Yes.
Caroline: Wow. I guess we really are over. Okay! Enjoy your movie.

[black-and-white fantasy:]
Kitty: Lucy, these brownies are wonderful. They make me feel silly.
Donna: Don't you just love those dried mint flakes? Someone sold 'em to me off the street!
Red: Um, I don't think these are mint flakes. I'm flyin'!
Fez: Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do. [braying laughter]